Dora the Explorer Ends Up In Dhaka After Map Malfunctions
In an unexpected turn of events, Dora the Explorer and her lovable sidekick Boots the Monkey were spotted near Dhanmondi Lake.
They were headed to the Land of Rainbows and Cupcakes, when their usually reliable guide, a map named Map (known for his hit song "I'm the Map") malfunctioned and gave them the route to Dhaka instead.
We saw the incident as a great opportunity for an interview. Our journalists asked Dora and Boots about their thoughts on doing the show in our city.
"It was fun, initially," said Dora. "You see, I started out long ago, when I was seven. Twenty years later, I'm still clapping along to alphabet songs and asking 'Can you tell me what this word means?' to toddlers that are probably drooling on their living room carpets, when what I really want to say is 'Can you tell me why I'm still doing this?' Somehow, my appearance didn't change much either. My friend, Ash Ketchum, went through the same thing."
Boots added, "What do I think? My name is Boots. It's like the producers didn't even try. If I wore a hat instead of these boots, what would they call me? Hats? I need a walk."
We think that Boots would look lovely with a hat. A Fe-Dora hat, to be precise... Next, our team asked them about their experience in Dhaka.
"See these bags under my eyes? They separated me from my family in the jungle, made me learn English and painted me blue — all so I could tail Dora on her stupid adventures," Boots said gloomily. "It took a toll on me. But enduring the traffic jams here took a bigger toll on me. That Martin Scorcese guy wishes he could make films as lengthy as Dhaka traffic."
"I was minding my own business, when these men started gawking at me. I thought they were mocking my outfit — Boots says my shorts are too orange" said Dora. "Honestly, I wanted to scream at Map. Get the directions wrong again, I said, and I'll paste you on some roadside wall and leave you there next to all those election posters and cockroach extermination ads. But then I reached for my backpack to take Map out, but my backpack was gone. We were in this place called Moha—"
Boots interjected, "I kept warning her that the place seemed shady, but she wouldn't get it. It's just like this on the show. She can't see Swiper trying to steal from her even when he's right beside her. All she does is stare and blink at the TV screen with those soulless eyes. Girl's so slow that you might as well call her Internet the Explorer."
However, their experiences weren't entirely bad. According to Dora, the local food is on par with her Abuela's tortillas, and the rickshaw rides were to die for. Although literally, sometimes.
"Some of those truck drivers need to relax, man. This isn't NASCAR," she commented. Boots said he's now friends with stray animals.
We found Map near a sewer a few hours after the interview.
"They'll shift to Google Maps now, won't they?" he asked, distressed and covered in mud.
Maliha Momtaz Oishi is a critically acclaimed writer, if you count full marks in 5th grade English tests. Mail her at [email protected]
Read satire and more on SHOUT.