Surviving sports class for the Unathletic
Most high-school students are familiar with the dreaded, compulsory physical education class, more commonly dubbed 'sports class'. Although for some, hearing these words doesn't invoke fear, but rather they think of it as a medium to get away from boring lectures. Then there's us; The Unfortunates.
The Unfortunates are the ones always lost during games, running away from the ball like it's chasing them, and looking at the clock with utmost desperation every five minutes. We're the ones that the athletic students don't want in their team (because it's not like we'll play anyway), the last ones picked (I have a personal vendetta against this), and probably the ones most injured. We're more of a liability than a teammate, and no one wants to be in that position.
Growing up, I have always been a weak, scrawny kid with not many athletic abilities, nor any interest in any kind of sports. Exercise and outdoor games have always felt more like a chore than a 'fun activity'. If you're one of those people as well, fear not. We're in the same boat here. Luckily for you, I've got some tips on how you can get through your sports class without losing much of your dignity.
EGO
The most important tip to keep in your mind is that you have to lose your ego. This is non-negotiable. Even if you think you can be the next Lionel Messi, you are going to be disappointed. So, let go of your ego and be willing to look like a fool if it means getting out of class. If you're lucky, no one will remember your idiotic shenanigans.
ATTITUDE
We all know you can't even throw a ball properly, so there's no use pretending like you can do it, despite how cool you might want to look in front of your classmates. Besides, the more you pretend, the more likely they are to assign you roles to play during games. Is that really what you want? Extra work that requires you to run and sweat under the scorching heat? I think not.
CAMOUFLAGE
No, you don't need to be a ninja for this. Instead, you can skilfully hide behind trees, walls, your classmates, or anything that keeps you out of sight. If the teacher can't see you, they can't charge you for not doing anything.
DECEPTION
This is an advanced method that requires practice, patience, and creativity. If you can master this skill, you'll almost never have to suffer in class as even the most absurd excuses can sound believable if you are convincing enough. Beware, however, as failure can result in a visit to the principal's office, a call to your parents, or, even worse, being forced to be the goalkeeper.
Saamin Azam Suha is a fandom connoisseur, professional procrastinator, and wannabe MasterChef. Send her compliments at [email protected]
Comments