“You are what you drink.”
You are basic. Though you can blend in with everyone easily, not everyone has strong feelings for you. Some take you for granted unless they are almost dying. Some use your existence and are actually grateful to you; some just take advantage of you all the time and never express gratitude. Despite the negativity, you should focus more on the most positive side of things, that is, your cousins always follow your lead. You are literally the first one of your kind.
People hate you. A large portion of your time is spent dealing with the hate you receive. In the grand scheme of things, you are useful and hence irresistible. The hate is always there, so is the attention. Everyone knows that they must not abandon you in spite of pinching their noses in your presence. You are that one friend who wishes everyone well. You always keep their energy bar as it should be — full. However, your concern for your friends is often faded because no one is a fan of how you present yourself. Work on that, and you should get better.
Milk, your first cousin, always creates scope for you to get all the praises. Without Milk, your existence is somewhat unthinkable. Now you might be very grateful to Milk for helping you reach heights, but the public will always write off their satisfaction with YOUR presence, without giving any credit (or minimum credits in some circumstances) to Milk. You have a huge fan base. They need you in their lives. Many don't even start their day without you.
You have a rival. Your fan base will always fight with your rival's. You are popular in your circle as the one who helps everyone function properly. Your fans love your aroma and some of them even consider you their soul mate. You are the only person who can get your friends out of bed. Your life is pretty smooth since you have only a few haters to deal with and many admirers to cherish. Check the internet sometimes – there are poems and love letters written in your honour.
You are a snake. You're full of fake promises. You promise to make everyone's life better, but you barely do anything. Though you manage to steal kids' attention and they're your ONLY fan base, their parents know how treacherous you actually are. You're a celebrity, disliked by most, but liked by the advertising agents. You are omnipresent and clever, because your business is going great despite the false hopes you radiate.
I always find you on billboards and advertisements like Health Drinks. But the difference between you two lies in the fact that you are not only liked by the advertising agents, but also by the mass.
Are you the calmest one in your squad? Does your presence always lessen the temperature of the ongoing conflicts in your circle? Are you preferred by everyone as a healthy company? Do your relatives look up to you as the embodiment of perfection? Do you always make people feel wholesome and cool? Congrats, you are perfect.
ELIXIR OF LIFE
You don't exist. Or you could be Rooh Afza.
Shah Tazrian Ashrafi wants 2018 to be as smooth as stormtroopers missing easy shots. Send him prayers at email@example.com