Easy (!?!) Ways to Get Over a Crush

The twinkling stars that you see when you look at that really good looking guy in class sitting two tables behind you? Well, that's a crush. And a lot of times, they're not as great as you'd like them to be. Especially when you confess to your object of affection; that too at a sidewalk opposite some restaurant just after having missed an important class. But of course, only to have your feelings crushed. And now, you have two options: either you can unhealthily brood over the whole situation or take the route of getting over this individual, which you can, because people are not that great.

Get voodoo dolls
If not available, use soap. And make sure they're shaped exactly like your crush. Use knives, spoons and other kitchen utensils if required. When the doll looks identical, sit in a corner with it in your hands and cry. But this might be difficult considering it requires a lot of sculpting skill and a strand of your crush's hair.

Stalk said crush's Facebook
The girl writing on his wall can easily be either his friend or girlfriend or mother or all of the above. It would be too much of a hassle to open a false social media account just to add her, so better to shut off your laptop for the day and read a book. Preferably a book that you wrote about your crush.

Ice cream
Ice cream is the answer to everything. Whether it is the question of how to get over a crush or what is the complete structure and function of the proteome, the answer is always ice cream. Unless you have pneumonia, then maybe not so much.

Listen to Adele and/or Taylor Swift
It's time to rid your playlist of songs that could bring you the tiniest bit of happiness and fill your room with tissue boxes. Adele just has some really sad songs and Taylor Swift often makes you cry blood anyway. (Side note: I'd personally suggest listening to John Mayer instead; similarly miserable lyrics, but much better music)

Watch Disney movies
We pretty much grew up watching Disney movies, if any of you deny that, you're probably adopted or abandoned. Watching Disney movies give you a sense of invulnerability and false hope. Actually, your entire predicament can be comfortably blamed upon Disney movies. Don't worry, though! It's like a drug, the more you take, the more you remain ignorant of the reality.

Get your act together
Which is basically, skipping all of the above and realising a rejection can be rough to get over, but not impossible. Let go of your bitterness and call up your friend to get ice cream. If you don't have a friend, you can try dating someone; you'll end up in the friendzone anyway. Instant friendship recipe!