Replicating your summer travel plans at home

Are you an avid traveler who is sick of staying quarantined and dying to hit the road? Have all your summer travel plans been foiled because of the corona pandemic? Don't worry, we got you covered. Here's how you can replicate all of your summer travel activities without leaving your home. We cannot guarantee your health or sanity though.

Sunbathing

Missing the beachy nirvana of Bali or a soothing sunbath in Cox's Bazar? Just take your chair, put on a pair of shades, your beach clothes and a hat and head on to the roof. If you miss being in the water just fill your bathtub (if you have one) or use a big plastic bowl. Don't use a bucket. If you're not under five-years-old, you are liable to get stuck for days. Play some soothing beach ambience and if you really miss Coxs Bazar, ask a family member to come and pester you repeatedly to buy something useless.

Bird watching and camping

Birds are back. Without people around, you can hear a lot of chirping in a lot of areas in the city. Off to the roof again with your binoculars and camera. Be like Steve Irwin (minus getting stung) and hide behind potted plants to peacefully look at the birds. No plants? That's your fault for living in a desert. At night, bring out your tent and get ready to gaze at the sky. Take some coal to light a fire on your barbecue grill and pretend it's your campfire.

No grill? Use bricks and coal?

No coal? Use your educational certificates because you are never needing them again if the apocalypse happens.

Take out that fish you have been saving for your post-quarantine party and pretend you just got it from the nearby stream! Catch it from a bucket of water. Buckets are so useful for the traveler going mad at home. Plus point: you won't have to worry about animals attacking your tent. We can't say much about family members though.

Surfing

Never tried it, right? But want to because it looks so cool on TV? Balance sofa cushions on top of another. Tell yourself it will be alright. If you have an ironing board then it is perfect. In not, just pile up the cushions as high as possible and try to balance with arms stretched out. Children do this all the time without running the risk of facing shark or worse, those salesmen offering restaurant coupons. Have someone spray water at your face while you balance.

Family friendly safari

You need participants. You need kids. Safaris are fun with the kids. A safari needs animals and little children cooped up inside can be just that. Same with spouse or siblings. Parents don't really have to dress up the kids into an animal. Just let them have their freedom when they refuse to take a bath. 3-4 days and they will look and smell like the jungle. Take notes and record commentary as if you are an intrepid explore.

'I see five-year old in the wild smelling what appears to be yet another booger. Must be avoided at all costs'

If it is a spouse you are watching make sure you tiptoe because in these trying times, they can be feral.

Missing your travel buddies?

Video call with all your travel buddies and play the video of a tropical sunset or a beautiful beach using Zoom's "Select background" feature and enjoy a glass of homemade pina colada with the gang.