[YOUR TITLE WILL BE HERE. Which must include “101” or “For Dummies” somewhere in it] | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, April 09, 2015 / LAST MODIFIED: 01:51 AM, April 23, 2015

[YOUR TITLE WILL BE HERE. Which must include “101” or “For Dummies” somewhere in it]

[THE BYLINE, I.E., YOUR NAME. GIVE YOUR REAL NAME IF YOU DON'T MIND YOUR INBOX FILLED WITH UNSOLICITED OFFERS AND QUESTIONS OF A DUBIOUS NATURE.]

[This is where you give an introduction that will say nothing about your article and will only confuse people further. Make sure you use ample redundant words because you need to fill that word count up.]

[This is the part where you actually start your article. It's always nice to start with a quote from your fictional sister. It will make the reader think you were serious enough to go out and ask people about this. Make sure the quote has at least one reference to Renée Zellweger's magical facelift (or whatever they call it these days). Readers dig that. Facelifts, I mean. Not Bridget Jones.]

[Here you need to give some background or relevant info about the stuff you are writing about. I don't mind making stuff up, but ensure that those made up stuff come with made up sources. Don't fret. Just Google “serious sounding names” and then mix up a few of those just to be on the safe side as you credit them with your soliloquies.]

[Around this point the reader is bored and will be considering stopping. So to entertain him, insert a meme right here. There should be at least two words there that are “in” at the moment like bae or that other one I forget. This will definitely do the trick and keep the reader on track. ]

[After the meme, the reader's concentration is at its peak. Talk about how a “new study” says something that you totally don't understand but proves the point you are trying to make anyway. ]

[Repeat an adverb multiple times here. E.g.: This was very very very very very nice! Adjust the number of adverbs according to your word count limit.]

[Don't be explicit. Just quietly place an ad here. No one will notice. No one cares.]

[You've just used an ad. The reader will obviously try now to look away from anything you put here. So go crazy: confess your deepest, darkest secrets. No one will laugh at you. I promise.]

[End the article with a witty punch line that you will never be able to come up with.]

 

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