#PlantLivesMatter | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, March 31, 2016 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, March 31, 2016

SATIRE

#PlantLivesMatter

Nowadays, people take great pride in being vegan. They are saving the planet, they are saving the unfortunate cows from being exploited by farmers. "Exploited" is an understatement. How would you feel if you were milked dry every day for the rest of your life, that too in front of your child? As a fellow staunch plant's rights activist and thorough plant lover, something I feel the need to bring up in every conversation, I implore the rest of the society to end this savagery threatening to take over our elitist lifestyle. 

I too was a vegan once. Until I met Greeny, a rescue.

Greeny is (was) a gender neutral, 6-week-old, Clover Leaf Mixed who sexually identifies as water. I was taking a walk around Dhanmondi Lake when I saw Greeny, a rescue, lying flat on the pavement, being repeatedly trot on without a thought about their opinion or their emotions. It was an instant connection. I rescued Greeny and ever since then, we talked about our pains, our lean gains and the viability of almond milk replacing cow milk. 

Greeny touched me. Greeny taught me how plants feel. Did I mention they was a rescue? 

Most of all, Greeny told me of the pain they felt when we ripped them away from their parents. The pain they felt when their seed was ripped away from their bodies. How would you feel if your seed was ripped away from your body? Greeny made me feel the pain of my seed being slashed from me.

All I learned so far at Unpronounceable Name University that gave me my Western liberal arts degree was at stake. Gender being a social construct? Socialism? Factory farming? Nothing eclipsed the silent screams from the pained trees and plants. We think wild animals are repulsive when they bite into the flesh of a deer and blood drip down their jaws. What about the apples that get desecrated by our teeth and bleed the transparent tears?

Today, let's also take this opportunity to make life hell for a few other people. Botanical gardens and nurseries need to be shut down. Plants have feelings. How would you like if people gawked at you all day long or traded you for money? It is an inhuman act and needs to be punished. All such places should be banned. 

Remember Folx, plants matter. Global Warming is real. Feel the Bern.


Plants feel pain:
http://science.howstuffworks.com
/life/botany/plants-feel-pain.htm

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