Whether you are a member of a group on Facebook or are subscribed to an event, it is very likely that you have come across at least one of these questions and wondered how the moderators let them exist. Whether it is Bangladeshis Beyond Borders or Desperately Seeking Dhaka, an abundance of these are likely to be found on your newsfeed once in a while.
“How can I get into (insert university name)?”
Generally alternating between MIT and Harvard, variations of this question can be seen at least once every week, but since students do not usually list out their credentials on the post itself, the most basic answer to this question can be found with only minimal research. Of course, it is a prerequisite that you win at least three gold medals at International Olympiads (or the Olympics), already be on a sports team and have a nomination for one of the Nobel Prizes. Although only two SAT subject tests are recommended, make sure that you have 780+ on the seven tests that you take and no less than a 1590 on the SAT – but remember, these scores must be achieved when you’re in Grade 9 and no later. If you are not a co-founder of a Fortune 500 company, chances of you getting in are very slim. Unless, of course, your parents, your grandparents and great-grandparents are all alumni and have a few buildings named after them.
“Where can I buy AirPods? My budget is 100 taka.”
Ah, yes. The age-old “where can I buy this for cheap” question. We have all been there at some point. It is simple. Walk to the nearest knock-off store you can find. Because even knock-off AirPods can cost about 300 taka, buy an identical pair of white Apple earphones you can get your hands on. If you are feeling a little boujee, grab a can of spray paint and go to town on those headphones. Get a pair of scissors, chop the wires off of them, and voila! You have the best AirPods that 100 taka can buy. The best part? It is almost DIY.
“Ki khabar diben?”
A very prominent question, this is most notably seen sprawled across the event pages of Model UN conferences and other big events. It is perhaps Bengalis’ favourite question to ask. If you see someone asking this, pass on that haha react button and answer this with utmost respect because of how imperative it is to the execution of a successful event.
“DM for price!”
For people selling goods on the internet, this is often seen on the captions of their photos. Yet somehow, you will almost always find someone in the comment section asking, “Price?” or “How much?” instead of messaging, as asked. These are generally the people on Facebook who, at all costs, will fail to follow instructions. They are superior.
No matter how much effort you put in to avoid seeing questions like these on your newsfeed, there is always that oneperson who will end up asking questions similar to these. The best we can do is lean back, crack open a can of diet Pepsi and keep that haha react ready.
Fariha enjoys binge-watching movies in the dark vicinity of her bedroom. Strike up a conversation with her at firstname.lastname@example.org