"Captain, we have a problem," one of the little people in your head tells their overlord, who immediately tenses up. "What is it?" he asks warily. The little person turns on the screen which shows the outside world through your eyes. The speakers connected to your ears turn on and the overlord hears one of his master's (i.e. you) friends say, "Dude, let's take a selfie!" Within an instant, screaming from all directions ensues and the alarms go off. There are red lights everywhere. This is the mind of a non-photogenic person, and our struggles.

You look good? I'm sorry, but you'll still have terrible pictures. That friend who just asked to take a selfie looks hands-down perfect in photos. You can already see their future: bright, with a good job, an equally beautiful spouse, plenty of kids and a happy life. What about you? Well, the devil just called and he told you stop showing up in his nightmares (with a polite "please" after his request). You put down the phone and your insecurity makes you approach the mirror, which cracks when you try out a photogenic smile. Then, you hear a distant wail of distress and feel sad; you've terrorised Bloody Mary yet again.

After calling the mirror store to order another mirror, you decide that it's high time to practice selfie-taking so you don't look like a rabid dog when you have to take photos with someone, and you take out your phone. Three years later, the quest for a good selfie continues.

In these three years, despite the quest for the "Selfie You Don't Have to Delete", you still had to socialise, people have wanted to take photos and have done so. Today is one of those days. You come back home, tensed, and keep an eye on your social media for a few hours. The photo tags appear before vanishing five seconds later. You've allowed tags for the photos where you've either photobombed, decided to pull a creep face, covered your face with something, far away photos, or blurred photos. Thankfully, there weren't too many photos this time (or those nasty candids). Your friends have gotten used to you saying, "EW dude delete that one!" The closest friends know how to shut you up though; out comes a nice filter.

Your task completed, you close your laptop wearily. Approaching the bed, you flop down onto your back and take out your phone and open your Snapchat, the only place where you can look like a deformed potato in pictures because everyone does. You grin; perhaps there IS salvation. Maybe life isn't so bad after all.

You blink right as the shutter clicks.