Virus loses all power inside buses | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, August 29, 2020 / LAST MODIFIED: 01:14 AM, August 29, 2020

Virus loses all power inside buses

The Chapasthan health ministry has caused a minor sensation by announcing that the highly transmissible virus Covid-22 loses all viability inside public buses.

"Our scientists have found that there is something inside public buses that overpowers the Covid-22 virus. This is very fortunate as people can now go to their jobs and get the economy running again," said health minister Mahid Zalek.

When asked what jobs, Zalek seemed not to listen. 

"Anyway, this proves what I have been saying all along – Covid-22 will go away on its own. Drumpf has been saying the same thing, and he must know something as leader of the free world."

The transport minister, who was sitting beside the health minister during the press conference, had his own take on the matter, which was also attended en masse by members of the bus owners' collective.

"It has been seen that the tickets passengers buy for the buses work as kind of a vaccine," Transport Minister Omaigo Bader said. "In fact, we noticed with wonder that the higher the ticket price, the greater the effect. That is why we are no longer reducing the prices of tickets to the pre-pandemic rates."

There were some snickers from the collective around this time, but whether it was coincidental is anyone's guess.

This announcement also had the effect of pedestrians rushing to get inside buses, especially those already infected with Covid-22.

"Scientists at the ministry also think that the tickets work as a cure," a bus owners' collective member told this correspondent under condition of anonymity.

There were several attempts to contact the health experts and scientists at the ministry, but none could be reached. The health secretary said that they had all taken the bus.

An independent scientist, meanwhile, told this correspondent that Covid-22 was overpowered by the body odour that is common inside public buses.

In other news, soap manufacturers have written to the government asking for a stimulus package.

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