Unmasked roundtable at a round table in Hotel Just-In on Eid home-goers spreading Covid-22
People going home in droves during Eid in Chapasthan was the main reason Covid-22 will spread throughout the country, the capital city's elite said at a roundtable at Hotel Just-in yesterday.
"You know, at the end of the day, it is a matter of education," said Simin Cashapa, a CEO of the local arm of a multinational company. "It is a little unfair that while we the educated are taking all the precautions, others are in a mad rush to go home. Why? Can't they just stay put like us?"
A businessman (who refuses to be known as a businessperson) named Bhaskar Kotipoti, ordered a crème Brulee and looked back around the table.
"Seriously, the government should take some action against the homegoing hordes. They should all be quarantined together, in a big boat out in the middle of the river," he said as he checked his watch, a Rolex, and bellowed at the waiter to bring his food in fast.
"Geez, I can't even tell which one our waiter is… they're all wearing masks," he muttered.
"You know, that's not a bad idea… in fact, it would be pretty easy. They're already boarding ferries in the thousands… just take them out to the middle of the river and throw away the key," said Raga Meghmolla, a banker.
Then they all looked at each other, 10 bejewelled, hairsprayed, perfumed, jamdanied and suited crème de la crème of Dhoka society, and laughed heartily.
"That was a good one. But you know, it's not that bad an idea," said Tanmatra Rubaiyyat, a beauty salon owner who was responsible for half of the hairdos around the table. "It may have to come to that, the rest of us shouldn't suffer because of them."
"Like I said, it's so uneducated. Why can't they just stay where they are for Eid. I mean, it's not just Covid-22, a number of them have died being trampled in the rush to get on ferries and buses," Simin said.
"Well, maybe it's just that their living conditions in Dhoka are so bad that they feel like taking the risk to go home and get some fresh air," said the only member of the group, an eleventh, who was wearing a mask. "And it's not like we are exactly staying put -- we are here sitting close together and not wearing masks. Well, I am for now, till the food arrives.
"Also, people staying back have been going en masse to shopping malls for Eid shopping – not exactly social distancing, is it? And at least the thousands on ferries are in the open air, and not indoors where Covid is more contagious."
The 10 others were now looking at this 11th with mouths agape, visible because none were wearing masks.
"Well, we have all been vaccinated," said Ayanta Amarabati, a restaurant owner.
"I haven't been," said Bhaskar.
Simin smiled a crore taka smile and said, "It doesn't matter. We are careful because we are educated… they are not."
Meghmolla then looked at the masked woman and asked, "Wait a second. Who the hell are you?"
"I am the journalist here to cover the roundtable," she said.
"This isn't a roundtable… this is dinner!" shouted Bhaskar. "Who let this woman in? And why has she been taking pictures? Waiter!! Manager!! Call the guards!"
The above account was mailed in from the kitchen of the hotel, where our viral correspondent is still detained