The alleged drug peddlers of Cox's Nagar have finally mastered the art of fleeing gunfights with police and are now offering courses for those in need.
Yabashebak Sangram Parishad, an association of alleged drug peddlers, claimed to have found the lifesaving techniques of successfully fleeing gunfights.
Murgi Shamim, alias Uff Bodi, self-proclaimed president of the association, talked to this newspaper yesterday on the condition of mentioning his interview as exclusive.
During the interview, he placed a record of Police Headquarters before this correspondent that showed a majority of alleged drug peddlers managed to flee last month's 100 gunfights.
He said, "Earlier, many alleged drug peddlers used to die in each gunfight. With our dedication and hard work, we managed to reduce the number.
"Don't you see police accept that they conduct raids on information that a group of us are there. But then they only manage to kill one or at best two of us?
"Rest of us always manage to flee nowadays. Anybody who is interested in learning the advanced techniques to flee gunfights can contact the association's secret Facebook group," he said.
He then bragged about his ability to poison the whole country with his crazy pills.
"It is now completely safe for the alleged drug peddlers to join the business as the association now teaches potential alleged drug peddlers to escape gunfights."
When this correspondent asked why one alleged drug peddler always died in every gunfight, he responded with a threat.
"You just asked an unnecessary and stupid question. You will face dire consequences for this," he said.
"All credit goes to the one who does it all," he then whispered. He, however, did not elaborate on the statement.
Contacted, Sheikh Wadud, marshal of Cox's Nagar Police, said he was not aware of any such course.
He then praised his team saying that he led the best team of law enforcers in the world.
"It was not at all surprising that none of our team members ever sustained a bullet injury from the alleged drug peddlers. Our officers are highly skilled," he said.
"We are as innocent as Princess Anna. We only retaliate," he added.