A CELEBRITY HAS JUST DIED AND YOU SHOULD ALL GET YOUR POSTS READY TO FEEL INVOLVED
Stop the presses folx, a celebrity has just died.
The singer, 103, who had multiple fatal diseases society chooses to play down, passed away last night leaving millions of people absolutely shocked.
The death dominated the news cycle for a good three days, with people waxing lyrical about the famed voice behind "I will keep liking all your posts to remind you of my existence even though you clearly told me you want nothing to do with me".
The next step in the mourning will be a procession of counterculture narratives which will serve to remind the world of how fallible and flawed their celebrity was and the problematic nature of hero-worship.
"I cannot believe he is dead. It's the end of an era," a fan said, parroting an old trope, which people have come to associate with expressing grief or loss.
"It's like a part of my childhood died," another fan said, showing just how easy it was to make people think in certain, conventional ways.
Since news of the death broke fans have been posting their condolences on social media. For a brief moment, the world has found itself disassociated with the daily concerns of life, which is a good thing.
A debate also broke out about what some lines from some of the singer's songs meant, with many confusing projecting their own insecurities as interpretation.
Finally, a few sharp listeners also pointed out how the singer was actually faking his death. "It's no coincidence that they joined Club 103. All those in that club…it's really shifty how they died. Plus when they sang, 'I know you love someone else, but let that someone else be me; I will come back from my death just you wait and see…' I think it proves that this isn't over," a fan said.
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