Ban declared on tearing, damaging or vandalising political posters
The government has decided to ban citizens from tearing, damaging or vandalising any of the millions of political posters plastered all over the city.
"We have noticed that people have begun to partially tear off pieces of posters our party members put up on the boundary walls of homes and offices around the city. We are very sensitive about this and have adopted a zero-tolerance policy for such acts of vandalism," Sadek Boka, the chief of the ruling party, said in a statement today.
"We feel really hurt when people do this. Plus, if you damage our posters, we are slighted. Our egos are bruised and people will begin to think we are weak, and that our achievements mean nothing at all," he added.
Those violating the ban will of course be given a death sentence. The sentence will not be valid if the culprits die in a crossfire.
"Sometimes when stopping these poster terrorists, they tend to retaliate. They try to run away. So of course, we have to fire at them, since we aren't fit enough to chase after them. We also have terrible aim, so it's not like this qualifies as police brutality. Also, is it really brutality if you are a terrorist?" Chief of Dhoka Metropolitan Police Rajesh Kibria said.
When asked if using the already depleted police forces to guard posters of all things was logical, the chief said they had to keep the force members busy. "It takes a lot of money to get a proper police posting. If we don't keep them busy, they will try to sell drugs or extort people as they do. We must take steps to address these things. Plus, posters are important," he said.
"Damage to a poster can be the death of a politician's career. Imagine seeing the picture of your leader with the face torn off. Not only is it insulting, but it is a direct assault on the image of the state. And people must do all they can to uphold the image of the state, since we are doing nothing to do so," Ahsin Hasan, former gangster turned ward commissioner, said. When asked if a peaceful resolution could be found, a number of ministers disagreed. "Listen we are hanging on to our posts by threads. The slightest show of weakness for us, like having torn posters, tells the people that we aren't as strong as we pretend to be. So no, we cannot go for peaceful solutions when the iron fist works so well," a minister said under the condition of anonymity.
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