#MeToo exists because of unequal power between men and women | The Daily Star
Skip to main content
E-paper বাংলা
T
TODAY’S NEWS
Roe v. Wade and America’s Supreme Court Abortion Ruling Explained Used car imports surge in FY22 A pandemic of ill-conceived projects Ration power to ensure stable supply to industries: FBCCI Why planes repeatedly hitting each other at Dhaka airport? Nepal finance minister quits after probe ordered against him On This Day: Real unveil Ronaldo in front of packed Bernabeu in 2009 Time for all-out preparations to tackle the fourth wave of Covid Rolls-Royce seized from Baridhara for custom rule violation Otilia to perform live in Dhaka Country may face deep economic crisis like Sri Lanka: BNP warns Instigating death by suicide of businessman: Henolux Group MD and director placed on 2-day remand Here's what we know about the luxurious Rolls-Royce SUV that was seized by Customs Stars of this year’s Qurbani Haat The root of our unhappiness: When the personal becomes political
The Daily Star
Journalism Without Fear or Favour
Wednesday, July 6, 2022
  • E-paper
  • বাংলা
TODAY’S NEWS
Roe v. Wade and America’s Supreme Court Abortion Ruling Explained Used car imports surge in FY22 A pandemic of ill-conceived projects Ration power to ensure stable supply to industries: FBCCI Why planes repeatedly hitting each other at Dhaka airport? Nepal finance minister quits after probe ordered against him On This Day: Real unveil Ronaldo in front of packed Bernabeu in 2009 Time for all-out preparations to tackle the fourth wave of Covid Rolls-Royce seized from Baridhara for custom rule violation Otilia to perform live in Dhaka Country may face deep economic crisis like Sri Lanka: BNP warns Instigating death by suicide of businessman: Henolux Group MD and director placed on 2-day remand Here's what we know about the luxurious Rolls-Royce SUV that was seized by Customs Stars of this year’s Qurbani Haat The root of our unhappiness: When the personal becomes political
The Daily Star
Wednesday, July 6, 2022 | Journalism Without Fear or Favour
  • Home
  • News
    • Bangladesh
    • Asia
    • World
  • Views
    • Editorial
    • Opinion
    • Letters to the Editor
  • Health
    • Diseases
    • Healthcare
    • Food
  • Coronavirus
  • Sports
    • Cricket
    • Football
    • More Sports
  • Business
    • Economy
    • Global Economy
    • Organisation News
  • Entertainment
    • TV & Film
    • Music
    • Theatre & Arts
  • Culture
    • Art & Design
    • Books
  • Life & Living
    • Fashion & Beauty
    • Food & Recipes
    • Health & Fitness
  • Youth
    • Education
    • Careers
    • Young Icons
  • Tech & Startup
    • Science, Gadgets, and Tech
    • Startups
    • Automobiles
  • Feature
    • Lifestyle
    • Arts & Entertainment
    • Showbiz
    • Star Health
    • Satireday
    • Shout
    • Toggle
    • Star Literature
    • In Focus
    • Star Youth
    • Law & Our Rights
    • Daily Star Books
    • Roundtables
    • Supplements
  • Environment
    • Climate crisis
    • Natural resources
    • Pollution
  • NRB
বাংলা T
  • Home
  • News
    • Bangladesh
    • Asia
    • World
  • Views
    • Editorial
    • Opinion
    • Letters to the Editor
  • Health
    • Diseases
    • Healthcare
    • Food
  • Coronavirus
  • Sports
    • Cricket
    • Football
    • More Sports
  • Business
    • Economy
    • Global Economy
    • Organisation News
  • Entertainment
    • TV & Film
    • Music
    • Theatre & Arts
  • Culture
    • Art & Design
    • Books
  • Life & Living
    • Fashion & Beauty
    • Food & Recipes
    • Health & Fitness
  • Youth
    • Education
    • Careers
    • Young Icons
  • Tech & Startup
    • Science, Gadgets, and Tech
    • Startups
    • Automobiles
  • Feature
    • Lifestyle
    • Arts & Entertainment
    • Showbiz
    • Star Health
    • Satireday
    • Shout
    • Toggle
    • Star Literature
    • In Focus
    • Star Youth
    • Law & Our Rights
    • Daily Star Books
    • Roundtables
    • Supplements
  • Environment
    • Climate crisis
    • Natural resources
    • Pollution
  • NRB

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • SMS Subscription
  • Apps
  • Comment Policy
  • RSS
  • Sitemap
  • Advertisement
  • Newsletter
  • Privacy Policy
  • Conference Hall
  • Archives
Society

#MeToo exists because of unequal power between men and women

#MeToo exists because one side has power—in insurance companies, government offices, in police forces, in Hollywood—and the other does not
John Lui
Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:00 AM Last update on: Mon Jan 15, 2018 01:47 PM
German MEP Terry Reintke (C) sits with a '#metoo' placard during a debate about combating sexual harassment and abuse in the EU at the European Parliament. PHOTO: AFP

Question: How do you know that a social campaign is working?

Answer: When someone organises another campaign opposing it.

French newspaper Le Monde on Tuesday reported that it was sent a note signed by 100 women, including actress Catherine Deneuve, saying that the #MeToo trend shows "a hatred of men", and that it is creating a puritanical wave of witch-hunts of men, and that "touching one knee, stealing a kiss and talking about intimate things at a business dinner" are not offences that should lead to firings.

"Insistent or clumsy flirting is not a crime, nor is gallantry a chauvinist aggression," it adds.

Some years ago, a friend of mine took a part-time job at a large insurance company. A man there decided to do things, such as those described in the letter, to her. He was wooing her quite ardently.

What I've left out of the paragraph above is that he was middle-aged, powerful and married. She was a teenager, still going to school.

She was not amused or flattered. Nor did she feel caught in a delightful dance of seduction, clumsy and uninvited though it might have been.

She was terrified and called her father to escort her home from the office after she had packed up her desk and quit, following one particular stomach-churning episode of sexual innuendo.

This is why #MeToo exists: Because one side has power—in insurance companies, government office, in police forces, in Hollywood—and the other does not.

The power imbalance makes a mockery of the idea that sexual harassment is simply seduction read wrongly by the other party, or that if we demonise harassers, men will forever be too afraid to pursue women, leading to the death of romance.

Harassment and flirtation are not on the same spectrum, where one is the stronger version of the other, and that the difference between the two lies in the eye of the beholder.

"Potato, Po-tah-to" does not apply here because one side, the man's, has credibility, status and the ability to punish women who fail to obey. The voice of the other side was not just much softer, but it was also heard with a degree of victim-blaming, of asking if she deserved it because of her industry ("It's show business, what did she expect?"), what she was wearing, what her behaviour was like at the time of the incident.

Power is what disgraced and fired mogul Harvey Weinstein had. He was not flirting clumsily. He had held the careers of actresses hostage: They give him what he wanted or he would retaliate. Actress Mira Sorvino, in a letter to Time magazine, tells of how Weinstein blacklisted her in Hollywood for years. Refusing him had cost her dearly.

This is why saying that #MeToo criminalises stealing a kiss or putting hand on a knee is ridiculous—it removes those acts from context. If someone steals a kiss from a woman, it matters if he is a stranger or a husband. It matters if he is a producer or director and she a young actress desperate to start a career.

In the age of Tinder and OkCupid, flirting and seduction have not died. Quite the opposite. Flirting has gained superpowers. I know people who flirt on several open channels, simultaneously, while at work.

Okay, emoji and swipes are not quite scented letters and poetry penned in desire, but these seem to make both parties quite happy.

On an app, men and women are equal, there are no repercussions for ghosting, no one side feels obligated to say yes because there is a penalty for saying no.

See the difference?


John Lui is senior correspondent with The Straits Times.

Copyright: The Straits Times/Asia News Network


Follow The Daily Star Opinion on Facebook for the latest opinions, commentaries and analyses by experts and professionals.

To contribute your article or letter to The Daily Star Opinion, see our guidelines for submission.


Related topic
#MeToo
Apple Google
Click to comment

Comments

Comments Policy

Related News

Bollywood

Rana replaces Nana!

World

In year of #MeToo, women win big at Berlin filmfest

Sexual harrasment
India

Bollywood director fired in India's #Metoo storm

World

Harvey Weinstein pleads not guilty to rape charges

Special Read

Why #MeToo is not happening in Bangladesh

The Daily Star  | বাংলা
১ ঘণ্টা আগে|সংবাদ মাল্টিমিডিয়া

বিমানের উড়োজাহাজের মধ্যে বারবার সংঘর্ষ কেন?

ঢাকার হযরত শাহজালাল আন্তর্জাতিক বিমানবন্দরে কেন বারবার উড়োজাহাজ সংঘর্ষের ঘটনা ঘটছে?

৩৮ মিনিট আগে|রাজনীতি

ভুল নীতি, দুর্নীতির কারণে বিদ্যুতের গল্প গলার কাঁটা হয়ে দাঁড়িয়েছে: সিপিবি

The Daily Star
Follow Us
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • SMS Subscription
  • Apps
  • Comment Policy
  • RSS
  • Sitemap
  • Advertisement
  • Newsletter
  • Privacy Policy
  • Conference Hall
  • Archives
© 2022 thedailystar.net | Powered by: RSI LAB
Copyright: Any unauthorized use or reproduction of The Daily Star content for commercial purposes is strictly prohibited and constitutes copyright infringement liable to legal action.