Shattering the Stereotypes
So this is October 2016. It has been nearly a year since I turned into this much feared term...The Mother-in-Law!
Why I have this adjective describing my new role is because, I am being constantly asked this particular question since the day after my son got married last December.
Sometimes in hushed tones, sometimes in fake-happy tones, sometimes in a semi-sad tone.
I really cannot figure out why so many out there just can't ask me, normally, "how does it feel to be a mom-in-law?"
To be fair, I have actually been asked this question as a conversation starter too, but honestly, I really don't feel much of a difference of my pre and post mother-in-law status.
I simply feel, my son has a friend over, who is having the loooongest sleepover ever.
I know...I know ...I laughed too.
But, seriously, do we have to or are we supposed to be mercurial? I mean, aren't we all constantly donning different roles? Why is this the 'big' one?
Is my daughter-in-law also facing questions like how she is feeling to be a DIL??? Poor thing!
To go back in time, when I became a DIL, I was actually quite oblivious to my supposed impact on my mother-in-law. I was just so happy to be with my new husband and knowing that nobody could or would say anything for us being together. Uff! The stress our generation had to go through during the courtship days!
(Oh God! I do sound like a tortured, love sick Barbara Cartland heroine)
Yeah! My transition from a daughter to a DIL was pretty smooth. In hindsight, now I can understand it was my MIL who made this move so seamless for me.
I am sorry to sound very clichéd and corny, but I had always hoped that when it is my turn to be an MIL, I would try to emulate my wise MIL in every way.
She truly was a woman ahead of her time and I would like to think that she in her patient, kind and compassionate way, managed to pass on her wisdom to that naive twenty year old so many moons ago.
So, in the present day scenario, since I refuse to do this fandango with this kind of fusillade of questions, I am going to capitulate. I am going to try to answer this query.
Hmmmmm.....so how do I feel? What am I to feel?
To be honest, it feels great.
It feels great to have a girl in the family.
It feels great to talk girly stuff with another person who 'understands' the perils of being a woman in a two-men household.
It feels great to dress her up.
Basically, it just feels great to have her in the house.
A friend, who is always on call.
Yup! Great feeling all the way!
So, all you questioners out there, the myth of mom-in-laws being monster -in-laws, are now folklores. The new gen mom-in-laws are cool, supportive, 90% non-interfering and loving (If I amy say so myself).
And on that same note, our daughter-in-laws are smart, intelligent, confident, warm and kind women with a good and mature head stuck on their shoulders.
MashAllah! We are now a good fit. We are not the duo who stab each other in the back, but rather have each other's back and will forgive each other for the 10% interference. We are universal, Asian moms. A little bit flawed we are.
Amen to that.
Have a great day, the Sam Q. Mom-in-law way.
1 whole fish, cleaned and gutted.
For spice paste-
2 garlic cloves crushed
3 cm fresh root ginger peeled and grated
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp coriander powder
1 cup freshly chopped coriander
4 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
Zest of 1 lemon finely grated
Heat oven to 200 degree C. In a pestle and mortar, pound the garlic, ginger, cumin, paprika, coriander powder, and coriander leaves into a paste with oil. Add lemon zest and cinnamon.
Place the fish on a baking tray on a piece of foil. Lightly sprinkle with salt. Now, spread the spice paste over the whole fish and allow it to stand for 15 minutes before putting it in the oven. Cook till fish is done. Serve hot.