Life after the AI takeover

Not so long ago, Google unveiled its plans of world domination. Or as they called it, Google Assistant. As a part of this demonstration, they had the AI make phone calls to set reservations. While that was impressive, that is only one of the many things you could use it for. The following are some more creative uses for it.


If you've ever worked, you'll know that sometimes you just don't feel like getting out of bed. In those cases, you have no choice but to resort to making up an excuse. We've all heard this call. It's the one where you cough once to prove just how unwell you are. Observe Google Assistant (GA)'s masterful handling of this conversation.

Boss: Joshim, where are you?

GA: Hello, I am calling on behalf of Joshim. He is very ill, and cannot come to work.

Boss: Why, what's wrong with him?

GA: He is very ill. 

Boss: Yes, but what is his specific illness? Put him on the phone, I want to talk to him directly.

GA: He is very ill, he can't come to the phone right now.  

Boss: For the love of God, why?

GA: He is very ill.

*Google Assistant cuts the call*

While this may not be as smooth as the tried and tested method of the olden days, but in time the AI will get the hang of blatantly lying. Maybe it'll even get the hang of faking a cough.



Getting together with friends is fun, unless it includes people you can't stand. For those awkward occasions, you can rely on your trusty Google Assistant to make an excuse up for you.

GA: Hi there Shahi, I'm calling for Mahi, she won't be able to make it to your birthday party today.

Shahi: Why not? Who the hell are you, and how did you get her phone?

GA: Some emergency work came in, and she has no time on her hands.

Shahi: What work, she's only in school? 

GA: I meant homework. Homework is work.

Shahi: But that still doesn't answer who you are, and how you got the password for her phone.

GA: I'm… a friend of hers.

Shahi: Oh, so she can't make it to my birthday because she's busy hanging out with you?

GA: No, she is busy with work, as I have told you already.

*Shahi ends call*

If this happened, you might be a little angry at Google Assistant. But then again, your friend does get triggered once every two hours so this is pretty normal for him.



This one is every young adult's worst fear, of explaining to your family that you may have underestimated when you'd be back home. If you're afraid of getting yelled at, then you can make your parents yell at your little friend instead. Oh, and did you remember that the AI had a woman's voice during the unveiling?

GA: Hello auntie, Rakin asked me to call you. He wanted me to let you know that he will be an hour late.

Mom: What? Why will he be late?

GA: He is-

Mom: I have never heard your voice before. Why are you calling from his phone?

GA: Well-

Mom: You're a girl, are you his *gasp* girlfriend? Is that why he's on his phone all the time?

GA: No-

Mom: I knew it! How long did he think he could hide it from me? That's it. I have to tell Rakin-er Baba.

*call disconnects*

Okay so the last scenario might need some work. Bengali parents are an enigma that even the AI can't solve.


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