Bikers disappointed at not being able to do stunts on Metro Rail

After the inauguration of any major landmark in Bangladesh, a section of commuters in our country like to leave their signature on the landmark in their own daring manner. Be it a new road, highway, flyover, or a monumental bridge, these people love the idea of pulling off something really stupid and making the headlines every once in a while. The people in discussion are, of course, Bangladesh bikers.

However, with the inauguration of the metro rail at bay, the bikers are disappointed with the fact that they won't be able to pull off some deadly stunt on the railway tracks and put their lives in danger. In a press conference held earlier yesterday, Shadman Rocky, founder of Biker Boys Bangladesh, requested the DMTC to consider putting a separate lane beside the railway tracks just for the bikers to pull off dumb stunts.

"We're a TikTok-based biking organisation whose goal is to pull off ridiculous and dangerous stunts in every major landmark in our country. The Padma bridge, the Jamuna bridge or the Jatrabari flyover – we've messed up everywhere bikes can physically reach," said Shadman,

"The local authorities are so annoyed by our shenanigans that at this point, they invite us to the inauguration ceremonies of major roads and highways and give us the entire floor so that we can pull off dumb accidents without any interruption. There has not been a single narrow space in this country where our bikers have not entered. Heck, our bikers have such expertise in entering narrow spaces that they could even recreate Inception and infiltrate the minds of Bangladeshi aunties since they're so narrow-minded."

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"But now on the eve of the inauguration of one of the greatest landmarks of our generation, we're not being able to contribute," said Rocky, getting emotional as he broke into tears in the press conference.

"We considered crashing two trains onto each other as an ode to biking. But apparently, you need a license to operate trains. Licenses are not something we're aware of as irrational bikers since we believe that anyone should have the right to hop on a bike and overspeed on a highway while making a TikTok about it. We earnestly request the authority to create a separate lane beside the railway tracks for bikers like us to overspeed and put everyone's lives in danger."

Historian William Dal-pimple talked about the historical importance of bikers as a species, "Bikers are the oldest of all the inconsiderate pricks of human civilisation. Legend says that when Egyptians were building the pyramids, someone with a Hero Honda was already on top trying to slide down the slope. Obviously, the stunt failed and the biker crashed into the nose of a limestone statue, which is now known as the Sphinx. If the DMTC doesn't help the biker pull off life-threatening stunts for a living, bikers as we know it will soon go extinct."

Meanwhile, TikTokers are left disheartened after the authority banned them from climbing on top of the metro rail and recreating "Chaiyya Chaiyya" for the sake of everyone's safety.

Remind Ifti to be quieter at [email protected]