Helping other people out regardless of what detrimental effects it could have on themselves is second-nature for some people. Even more admirable is that it doesn't even necessarily have to be loved ones; occasionally people help strangers because they can. However, sometimes people are terrible at assistance, either because they don't really want to help but are too chicken to say it outright, or because they're just… well, bad at helping. If you're the second type of person who wants to help but just aren't good at it, I hope this piece of writing helps you step up your game a bit and be more of a help than a burden.

1. EXCUSES

You know you're downright inefficient if you keep making excuses about not helping the person out properly because of 'this or that', even after you've explicitly told them you would help. A good rule of thumb is to either flat-out say you can't help if you know you're going to make excuses, or pull your socks up and stop messing around.

2. PRETENDING 

This is the absolute worst thing you could do apart from actively trying to sabotage them, but pretending you can help is honestly worse than making excuses for yourself and frankly, it's basically indirectly sabotaging them. You keep giving them the impression that they can rely on you, until they finally figure out that they definitely shouldn't rely on you. Waste your own time if you will, but not theirs. 

3. LAZING AROUND

For their sake, don't wing it. It's incredibly annoying if, say, you told someone you're going to explain a certain topic of maths that they're having trouble with, then proceed to not really reviewing that chapter well enough yourself. In the time frame that you kept clumsily stumbling around, they could have just gone to someone else and gotten the job done properly.

4. ULTERIOR MOTIVES

If you have ulterior motives about helping someone, then say it, no matter how bad it might make you look. There's no shame in the whole 'give and take' idea because you can't always give something the whole time. It's incredibly irritating if you help them out, not telling them you want something in return and keep poking and prodding afterwards.

5. MISCELLANEOUS POINTS

Don't postpone helping them out, especially if they're short on time. Don't ask 'what do you mean' when they say ASAP, because they mean 'ASAP'. 

Follow instructions to boot. Write them down if you think you can't remember, and definitely don't do the usual 'Naw, it's good, I'll remember it' if you have a history of forgetting. If you're planning on straying from instructions, you should definitely tell them. 

If you're confused about something and you've got questions, no matter how dumb it seems to you, ask. It's better if they get irritated at you for asking dumb questions rather than screwing up your job.

And finally, if you don't want to help, just say so from the start. Don't beat around the bush. Start trimming it. You'll do both you and the other person a favour. 

Rasheed Khan is a hug monster making good music but terrible puns and jokes where he's probably the only one laughing. Ask him how to pronounce his name at [email protected]