A guide to bad decision-making | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, August 10, 2017 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, August 10, 2017

A guide to bad decision-making

Human beings are, in general, probably subconsciously masochistic. Instead of saying 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away', we prefer to say things like, 'a doctor a day keeps the consumption of apples to a minimum which isn't exactly a wise decision in terms of health or finance'.  So, since we probably have no intention of fixing all the stupid mistakes we tend to make for no good reason, here's a guide to making MORE stupid mistakes for no good reason.

A common reason for bad decision-making is our emotions. Once in a while, going along with your emotions is great. Being a true failure means letting yourself be completely taken over by emotions at all the wrong times and not use a level head when you need to. That video is buffering at 1080p? Throw the laptop/phone/tab/all three out the window. That one guy on the enemy team keeps camping? Rage quit. Your S.O. forgot it's your anniversary? Well, go on another anniversary with your other S.O.

All decisions are processed through the 'Thinking Factory' in your head. They should neither spend too much time in your head nor should they speed through and not really be properly processed. Every decision has a different time frame for which it should be contemplated and we should let it simmer accordingly. However, doing things that way is by far one of the most boring things you could do, so you might as well live life on the YOLO side and either act impulsively all the time or be too un-YOLO and overthink every decision you could ever make. I am currently channelling Hagrid's spirit, so if you think otherwise, I've only got one thing to say: yer a pansy, Harry. 

To make bad decisions effectively, you must fear the decision-making process all the time. Being afraid allows your judgment to be clouded, and you're more likely to take the wrong decisions. This is why, it is imperative for you to become a chicken. Literally.

Discussing your decisions with someone is often a very good tactic (unless you took my advice and have morphed into a chicken and now can't say anything but 'BACAW' and run at the speed of light). Talking it out will offer you a different perspective and might even bring to light things you hadn't noticed before. For example, how you could have just gone to that camper's place instead of rage quitting and 360 no-scoped him in real life instead, or how you could have thrown yourself out the window instead of your laptop/phone/tab/all three, or just told your S.O. that it's your anniversary. The third example, admittedly, is a stupid one, and God forbid someone give you terrible advice like that.

On the opposite end, we have discussing decisions with too many people. While a few different perspectives are great, too many could make the process more stressful and time-consuming, and as they say, too many cooks spoil the broth. Whoever said that was obviously ignorant of the fact that not only are you someone who has too many cooks and no broth, but you're also a werechicken. One broth, coming right up!

Decision-making is also influenced by past decisions. If you really care to fix things and not make the wrong decision, looking through all the #tbt might help you in making decisions now. As you move forward in life, our choices are more and more refined. As such, people learn from their mistakes. Good thing you're not a person, huh?

Going back to talking about our 'Thinking Factory'; that thing needs information to process the decisions that go through its halls, as is obvious. We need to be able to try and predict the outcomes of every decision, to weigh the pros and cons against each other, analyse things and be prepared for outcomes and especially prepare for unexpected issues that we may face. All this may seem like a lot of effort, but don't worry. We're all best friends with procrastination and laziness, both of whom always love to lend a helping hand.

Finally, patience. Society these days actually does have less patience since we tend to get things much faster now. Once upon a time, we had to spend months waiting for a letter, maybe a year to cross continents, things like that. Sometimes, decisions require a lot of patience an— oh, sod it, I haven't got enough patience for this paragraph. 

All in all, I hope this informative article helps you further in messing up your life. After all, we can't let that doctor lose his job, right?

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