Perks of Insomnia

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Really? Twenty-first century and we're going to obediently accept this ancient axiom? How does sleeping even correlate to wealth when I've already spent about 50% of my life sleeping and haven't earned enough in the process to buy a quarter of a chicken ball at CP?

The average human has a life expectancy of 71.4 years, and spends about 25 of those years snoozing. Are we making the most of our time? Fact of the matter is, sleeping is a very mainstream activity, as is breathing, eating, existing etc. The rules must now be redefined in our strife for originality, lest we be consumed by banality. No longer will insomnia be regarded as a weakness, but our greatest strength, our means to living life to the fullest. Why, you ask? Why should you sacrifice your precious sleep in lieu of coffee beans? Here's why.

GET YOUR NERD GAME ON AND FAM GAME STRONG

Twenty-four hours in a day is almost no time at all when you have to juggle academics, a social life, family responsibilities, that snotty kid you tutor with the annoying mom who calls you 24/7, and manage the time to squeeze in 8-12 hours of sleep in between. Cut down sleep count to 4-6 hours and you're automatically looking at time you can spend studying, eating, cooking, solving world hunger and planning for not spending the rest of your life alone. Give or take.

PEACE AND QUIET

The constant chatter of people around the house – parents YouTubing loudly, kids watching Doraemon defeating bad guys (big surprise), help glued to the Indian TV serials gobbling up the fresh dilemma Gopi Bahu is in as her evil twin makes better laddoo than she does – it gets tiresome. Shift the time frame past midnight and all is quiet. You finally have the time and space to think, feel, and study productively. Make yourself a cup of coffee, read a book. Arrange said cup of coffee and book on a nice wooden surface, Instagram it. Share it on Facebook and respond to the numerous comments pouring in, the book abandoned a few feet away. Ah, the life.

ALL THAT TV PRIVACY

Absolutely nothing is more awkward than when a parent walks in on you when you're knee deep into an episode of Game of Thrones and an, umm, not-quite-family-friendly scene comes on. 

"No mom, I'm not too young for this." 

"What do you mean 21 isn't old enough?" 

You can go through 83649975 minutes of screen time without a single awkward scene, but they'll be hovering over your shoulder the minute things get risqué. 

ALL THAT PP PRIVACY

One of the most liberating feelings in the entire world is using the loo with the door wide open. And without the threat of the average privacy-oblivious parent/ sibling barging into your room, your jet streams can fly in peace.

But in all seriousness, sleeping late does have very real advantages given we can maintain a proper balance and meet the minimum requirements. Moreover, President Obama himself admits to being a night owl, staying up in his entire presidential swagger.

Need I say more?