The story behind Trump’s ‘perfect’ mugshot

Former US president Donald J Trump, also someone who "they say" is the current US president, has been honing his "mugshot face" since January 6, 2021 -- the day on which he allegedly instigated an insurrection.  

"I have been watching him since that day, standing in front of the mirror, looking down, looking down and suddenly looking up with an expression like he was desperately trying to contain a small lizard in his mouth," Melania Trump told Satireday yesterday.

Insiders said that to prepare the expression that people have already started calling "perfect", Trump watched hours of TV, like he did during his first term as president. He then found inspiration in two 1990s pop culture moments.

"It is where Blue Steel from the movie Zoolander met Joey's headshot technique from Friends," said Trump's son Donald Trump Junior.

"Daddy said Ben Stiller's Blue Steel look was what inspired his serious face over the years. But he had to perfect it. You only get one shot at a mugshot, er yeah, one shot. So anyway, he had to nail the look. So then he, a stable genius with a perfect memory, remembered Joey on Friends advising Chandler, who was posing for a portrait with Monica, to keep looking down until just before the photographer would snap the photo.

"At that moment, you have to look up with the expression that you want to project, and voila! Daddy spent hours in front of the mirror looking down, but he could not see his shoes. What was I talking about?"

Meanwhile, Rudy Guliani, who many erroneously suspected was the lizard that Trump was trying to keep in his mouth, revealed that the mugshot was extremely important.

"Trump is a visionary guy. He knew that he didn't lose the 2020 elections, but the fake media and the fake world in general would not allow him to continue as president. So, he needed a plan.

"He knows the value of a brand, and his face. He likes to call his face a perfect face. And who better to be president than someone who has a perfect face?

"Knowing that he would be indicted, I mean we all knew, he practised presenting the perfect face. And we have pre-ordered 60,000 mugs to print the mugshot on. As of now, there are already 120,000 orders for the mugshot mugs."

Trump, meanwhile, has Truthed that he met his future self, and learned that the mugshot mugs helped elect him to the presidency in 2024.