Local trillionaire donates BDT 100,000 only to Covid-22 research
Joshim Bashon -- local entrepreneur, CEO of shipping ;), Math Genuis, IBU alumnus, founding father of Amazing.com and saviour of the masses (this is copied directly off his official Facebook page) -- recently made headlines when he made a public donation for research into Covid-22.
While we here at Satireday do not endorse donation shaming, there was large public outcry over the contribution, which was a sum of BDT 100,000 only.
One of Bashon's own employees, who requested anonymity, had this to say, "Every day he comes and brags to us. I'm a trillionaire b----es, and that's in dollars. Trillionaire in dollars. Get woke. But now he donates less than 0.000000001 percent of his fortune and to distract from the fact that he has upped our working hours to 22 hours a day, seven days a week. I literally sleep in this warehouse now."
We, unfortunately, had to cut our conversation with Bashon's employee short simply because his sleep deprivation and high blood pressure almost definitely caused him a stroke over the phone.
Thankfully, however, I was able to call 969 emergency services, where I was greeted by a jingle informing me to stay alert about Covid-22. And after 10 minutes of hearing the song on a loop, I realised my anonymous correspondent had either saved himself or, well, let's not think of negative things.
After the large public outcry, Bashon decided to respond by opening what his team is calling the "Pat-on-the-back" programme. Anyone can go to goodjobjashim.org.gov and click on the "pat-on-the-back" button, which will then result in Bashon donating Tk 50***, only in your name, and you'll also have to witness a poorly made gif of Bashon getting a pat on the back.
The *** mark refers to the terms and conditions, which is five pages long, but here are some of the main ones that may concern everyone:
1.One person can only give one pat on the back.
2.Maximum sum donated from the "pat-on-the-back" programme will not exceed BDT 50,000 only.
3.In order for the "pat on the back" to be verified (to ensure you aren't one of his rival Axl Muske's robots), you have to photoshop a selfie of yourself with Bashon and post it to Tidder.com with the hashtag "bestintheworld", which will then be verified by individuals from Bashon's team.
I was able to get in touch with Bashon for a virtual meeting on Doom.com, another spin-off idea from his company, which is currently under investigation for harvesting user data, but he refused to use Skype, so I had no other choice.
Asked why Bashon only donated such a small sum, when he was known for outlandish acts such as tipping even bigger sums to internet celebrity chef PottBae, this was his response: "Listen, you have to understand. I didn't become rich overnight. It took me a year or two. But I wasn't always like this. I worked hard to get to where I am. I started with nothing, and now I'm a trillionaire. And that's in dollars."
I proceeded to ask Bashon about the large inheritance his father left him, to which he replied, "Look. My father was a drinker. A fiend. Sorry, I was watching The Dark Knight yesterday and lost my train of thought. My father only left me a small sum of money, nothing too big."
When I poked him further by mentioning the "small sum of money" as being 500 billion dollars and further asking if the reports were true that he had not reported the inheritance on his taxes, Bashon decided to cut the call and block me on all his social media.
I cannot also access amazing.com from either my home or office computer, rendering me unable to purchase any more toilet paper, as amazing.com had purchased the entire market stock of toilet paper right before the Covid-22 outbreak.
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