Quite recently, the internet found itself divided, yet again, after one man from Donmondi started the notallwomen (NAW) movement on the social networking site Facebrood.
The man, known simply by his screen name "Internet Philosopher (IA)" agreed to sit with me for voice call, in order to preserve his anonymity.
"Hello Mr IA, how are you doing today?"
"Hello, I am constantly struggling against the inequality created by the matriarchy and the overall underlying fallacies of this prerogative narrative that women spew from their heinous visages," replied IA, his voice heavily masked by a Darth Vader voice filter.
"Oh sorry, I usually only use these words when typing out long comments on Facebrood. I meant I was doing alright."
"O-okay. Well IA, it seems that you have stirred up quite the ruckus when you started the NAW movement. How did it all begin?" I asked.
He cleared his throat.
"Well, actually, it's pretty simple. We are oppressed. Free speech is a joke. Women don't know how to comprehend my intellect. They feel threatened by it and therefore assume I am a sexist. But the truth is obviously that I am an equalist. I want everyone to be treated equally. All humans are the same. And I should be able to tell a woman that they are just as bad as us."
He coughed again, I could only assume the rant would continue.
He continued, "But you see, women do not want to understand anything except how to jump to conclusions. I thought free speech meant I could speak my mind. But then why do these women call me out when I openly talk about my opinions? That's not how free speech works. Women are just as bad as men, and that's why I started the NAW movement. It's to remind us to speak out against the oppression that men are under due to the constant scrutiny woman put us under. Why should I have to think before I start typing up a status on Facebrood? Where's the equality in that? Everyone is part of the problem. Not just men. They keep telling each other how great they are, but not all of them!"
"So what would you say is the root cause of this 'problem' that you're talking about."
"The problem is society. Men and women, can both do bad things. Look at the wife of Captain Jake Ishparrow, she lied about him assaulting her. But now we know the truth. So, it's definitive, not all women are as great as they say they are. Therefore, the solution is to be willing to learn and reflect on your experiences," he replied calmly.
"Oh, okay," I replied, somewhat surprised by this turn of events. "So, you're willing to learn?"
"Yes, definitely! I am always looking for ways in which my knowledge matrix can be further updated with all new forms of lexicon and discourse."
"Well, I would like to help do that. Anecdotes aside, such as the one you mentioned about Captain Jake, statistically, women are more likely to ---"
"STOP. You understood nothing I said. There's no way to prove statistics, math is dumb. Give me real-life experience, anecdotes are facts. And facts are the only thing that matter. Stop reading between the lines, there is nothing there. I am a male feminist. An equalist, which is better than a feminist. Don't equate my NAW movement to the not all men tagline. They're very, very different!" he responded.
"They're really not. You're just criticizing women, instead of having a proper conversation about the problem. Your social bubble may have good men in it, but that doesn't carry forward to the experiences of everyone in the world --"
"Shut up," he said, cutting me off. "My social bubble is the best. I have the best friends. And anyone who doesn't like NAW can unfollow me on Facebrood. And as for you, this interview is over, simp"