Paid by the public for the good of the public

THEY say they are going to be giving international awards for the country that has sent the most public officials abroad. Bangladesh seems to be a tough contender in the race with more foreign trips by officials than any taxpayer can imagine. In fact, the way things are going, there is a good chance we may actually win.

The latest findings by a diligent fact finder of this paper, hoping to gain brownie points for the race, contain some amazing revelations. Ministers and Secretaries have been touring the world to solve the MRP (Machine Readable Passport, for goodness sake people you should know this by now, especially since most of you who don't have one, may never will) crisis. In case you are not aware of what the crisis is, basically IRIS (no not ISIS, God forbid) failed to change the passports of 30 lakh Bangladeshi expatriates to MRPs. This means that all these Bangladeshis working in foreign countries who still have the old passports, may lose their jobs and be forced to come back home. 

Obviously something needed to be done and like Superman (sans the figure hugging suit of course) our Men in Black flew off to various destinations. Oh but wait, where did they go? Not to Saudi Arabia, the UAE and Malaysia, where most of our countrymen are anxiously waiting for those MRPs that will make or break their future? No it was the Northern Hemisphere that they chose to fly to – perhaps they were on a 'secret' mission justifying the detour that we ordinary folks will not be able to understand. Perhaps it was the nice European or North American summer that compelled them to change course – no no, don't indulge in such gossip. Anyway, one of our great men in office decided he had to personally deliver 18 passports to expats in Germany through a 'special ceremony' even though the MRPs had been ready for weeks. Apparently, such 'inaugurations' of MRPs have been held in 60 missions so far, reveals this very entertaining report. 

According to the fact finder, some of our valiant officials are now vying for a trip to Brazil, not because of the football and the beach scene, but because, you never know, there just maybe a few Bangladeshis waiting expectantly to get their MRPs from a VIP. Then there was the touching story of two officials who went all the way to Australia (after a quick stop in Española) to deliver a single laptop to the Mission in Canberra. Oh by the way, while they were completing this holy mission at the Mission they got to see their daughters too. Uzbekistan, France, Russia and Japan – these official adventurers have wandered as far away as possible from the countries where the real problem lies but where the weather is too enervating for any kind of constructive sightseeing, sorry, work. But that's ok, we understand, these things need to be done, for the sake of the overall good of . . . the good of . . . oh something we're sure.

Everyone likes a free trip, why should it be any different for public officials. More so because of all that fuss called protocol – flags on the limousines, seven star hotel rooms, chocolate mints on the pillows, day trips and the banquets, the photo ops with political celebrities . . . It is just an endless trip of joy and excitement, all the more pleasurable because it is absolutely free!

Thus delegations accompanying the head of state may have a few more members than expected, what's a few dozen more delegates to showcase the potential of a country of 160 million, abroad. What's a few more crores of the taxpayers' money? 

The zeal with which public officials and their associates vie for foreign trips is truly impressive. At a CHOGM (Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting) in a little beach town in Australia, the former PM's entourage consisted of a large number of public officials along with a group of media persons. One of the 'delegates', who said quite candidly that he was there because he had never been to Australia before, seemed to be quite taken with a female journalist from an independent paper (not part of the official delegation). After some chit chat he asked: 

"Are you going to the one in the UK in September? You know, I can easily get you in, just send me your resume, two copies of passport-size photos of yourself, a photocopy of your passport, etc."

"What is the conference on?"

"Hmm. I think it might be on the environment or….not sure, will let you know."  

"But I haven't been invited."

"Arrey apa, that is not a problem at all, you just say yes, I will arrange everything. Ebarrerta jombe bhalo." (This one is going to be a real blast!) And that dear readers, is how you can get on the bandwagon of official foreign trips, all expenses paid by the very generous taxpayer.

The writer is Deputy Editor, Editorial and Op-ed, The Daily Star.