There is nothing worse than being an individual who can't get along with people. And as someone who transferred schools every two years, I fell victim to this from a very young age. But eventually catching up on the idea that it should be one's life goal to be accepted by everyone, I came up with tricks that are so amazing even a tree can develop a personality and have it's own group of human friends.
BE A LISTENER
When getting along with people, thinking about yourself should be at the bottom of your priority list. Be a listener. Listen to EVERY WORD they say for the entire time you converse. You may need to have a strong memory for this. In case you don't, making friends probably isn't for you. Before attempting to start a conversation, try to find relevant things to talk about. This works better when listening to a group of people. Eavesdropping isn't wrong if it's for the sake of friendship.
The three M's never fail when trying to get along with people – music, movies, and memes. One of these will definitely spark a conversation and next thing you know, you're talking about conspiracy theories and/or food. This is the time to unleash the stalker in you. Follow them on social media to know more about their taste in music, movies and memes. Even if you don't like the same things, you can always pretend. No one said you had to be yourself to make friends.
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY ON THEM
A crucial tool for getting along with others is to not talk about yourself at all. You may be a narcissistic human being, but for a few hours, tone it down a bit. Glorify everything they did. Even if it's relevant, talk about their accomplishments instead of your own. Their pointless achievements should definitely be the only thing you discuss the entire time you interact. Did you recently win an international competition? Doesn't matter. They woke up at 6 AM. THIS MORNING.
KEEP YOUR DARK HUMOUR TO YOURSELF
Because its 2018, there's no knowing what might offend people. So, it's better to keep your humour (and your opinions) to yourself for the first few hours of conversation. Walking on eggshells is very important when it comes to fitting in. You don't want anyone to dislike anything about you. If you can't help it, slide in a few harmless jokes here and there. But avoid things that are sensitive to an argument. So, basically, you should stop talking completely.
STAY TRUE TO YOUR MOTIVE
Admit the fact that you're incapable of interacting with people. That may make you seem pitiful. But like I said, your reputation doesn't matter anymore. Be honest about your motive, but not too honest. You definitely want to fit in. But you also need to have opinions of your own that are the same as their opinions. You should also remember to compliment them and do nice things every chance you get. Although, overdoing it may result in eternal enslavement, so be aware.
With these fail proof strategies, you'll start getting along with people in no time!
Antara wishes to conquer the world someday and bring back an alien from Pluto. To know more about her evil schemes, send an e-mail at: firstname.lastname@example.org