Needless Gaming Gears

Some business ideas appear to be just too easy. Take gaming accessories for example. Make whatever you think is remotely related to gaming, and a few misguided people are sure to be interested. Here are some of the most obnoxious examples:

1.GAMER FOOD 
What it is: Apparently gamers cannot fulfil their extraordinary nutrition needs from the food of mere mortals. What else could explain the existence of GamerFood? According to the company, their gamer-focused snacks are specially made to boost focus, alertness and reaction time. 

Why you probably don't need it: If snacks with flavours like 'Cashews of Chaos' and 'Nuts of Destruction' (actual flavour names) is all it takes to gain these positive effects, why don't students and business professionals around the world gulp them by the bucket load? Eating healthy, natural food is effective and cheaper to boot.

2.SEGA ACTION CHAIR
What it was: An accessory for the Sega Mega-Drive. It was a simple chair with two handles on either side which could, in theory, be used to control the action on the screen in style. The handles were to provide directional input during gameplay.

Why you probably didn't need it: For one, the chair never worked as it was supposed to. To get the proper amount of movement, one had to work very hard and risk falling off the chair. 
Even if the chair did in fact work, who would trade the excellent Mega-Drive controller for a cumbersome, dorky looking chair?

3.GAMER GLASSES
What it is: Another example of the disturbing recent trend of putting 'Gamer' before random things. A variety of eyewear have been released which target hardcore gamers. They promise to do things ranging from stopping eye strain to blocking harmful rays from PC monitors.

Why you probably don't need it: Spending 10-15 hours looking at the intense visual actions of a video game will give anyone eye strain. A flimsy-looking pair of plastic eyeglasses really don't look like the type of thing to stop that. 

Also, modern monitors are designed to minimize the emission of harmful rays to almost nothing, which makes the gamer glasses kind of obsolete.
Lastly, they almost never manage to look like respectable glasses. If you want to look cool and avoid the harmful effects of the bright screens, probably a better solution would be a pair of normal Aviator sunglasses.

4.WII COOKING KIT
What it was: The Wii attracted a lot of casual gamers into the world of gaming. Companies did not waste any time in trying to milk this new segment of gamers to death. Among the resulting thousands of unnecessary Wii add-ons, the Wii Cooking Kit takes the cake. Containing plastic pans and knives where the Wii controller is placed, the controller aimed to satisfy gamers who loved the numerous cooking games on Wii.

Why you probably didn't need it: Firstly, the above mentioned games were designed for, and worked perfectly fine on, the default Wii controller.

Secondly, anyone who wanted to play with pans and knives has the option of actually cooking, which is much more rewarding than some virtual points in a video game.

5.KINECT GAME BOAT

What it is: Kinect is Microsoft's motion gaming solution. It offers users the chance to play without the use of any physical controllers. The game boat is a boat-shaped physical controller for Kinect adventures.

Why you probably don't need it: Do you really want to shell out the money for something to be used in one specific portion of one mediocre game? You probably don't. 
This accessory also insults the gamers' intelligence by trying to push a physical controlling device under the Kinect name. 

By being almost completely useless, not very well made or well thought-out, and quickly forgotten, the Kinect game boat has managed to make itself a textbook example of a modern needless gaming accessory.

The average gamer works very hard to earn the money to pursue his favourite hobby. Wringing such people out of their money through sub-par accessories such as the above mentioned one is absolutely cynical and ruthless. Thankfully, gamers have generally proven to be smart enough to keep these ventures from being commercially successful. 

Novo Manzoor is an athlete. He surfs the web all day. You can reach him at: [email protected]