The year 2016 was simply the worst for me, all my childhood or college friends just decided to tie the knot in an irrevocable sequence. I'm truly happy for everybody embarking on this journey with a person they love but can I kindly request you to stop asking me about my marriage? 

Some people have been truly fortunate to find the love of their lives, whether arranged or love, and sticking by them. But not all of us have that kind of luck at the moment. Many of us don't even want to find that love, yet. Some of us might have towering ambitions, but lack the ability to emotionally invest in someone too soon. Moving faster than our threshold frequency makes us uncomfortable.

But can you blame us? When our parents were young, things were relatively simpler.  Everything is a lot complicated now because of how connected we've all become and the changing expectations of our parents. 

I've always heard people talk about it since childhood - obsessing over the perfect groom, perfect wedding. Frankly, I was never fascinated with the whole marriage thing. It's not like I decided on it, I was just never into it. In fact, I go into terror thinking about weddings in my own family because all the noise and brawls that come with it threaten my peace of mind and solitude. Besides, at times I feel like I'm not even meant for marriage. There are a lot of submissions, compromises, and sacrifices that have to be made. 

So this sudden attack about "When are you getting married?" is getting on my nerves.  I first made a commitment to my goals. I want to finish my education, travel, discover and enjoy as much as I can because who knows what lies in the future?

Most marriages struggle mostly due to financial issues, poor communication and/or incompatibility, and it´s my personal belief that we should all work on being able to bring something to the table, while also seeking a sense of wholeness and striving to heal emotional wounds prior to seeking a lifelong partner.

Of course there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but like any other major examination of life, isn't it logical we try our best to prepare ourselves? Given the high divorce rates in our society, it often scares me while I'm thinking about what I would do if I had gone through it. Although I´m open to allowing the right person to come into my life, I think everyone still owes it to themselves to do some self-work and analysis in advance.

Life may seem like a race, but in reality we all move at our own pace so it's best we let it be. Also to me, marriage is a part of life, not life itself.

Rafidah Rahman is a teeny-tiny Hulk, she's always angry and she's always hungry. A cynical dreamer and a food enthusiast, she's your everyday entertainment. Correspond with her at [email protected] or https://web.facebook.com/rafidah.rahman.39