The Dark Side of Twinning

The word "twins" always sparks wonder and curiosity in people's minds. When they stumble upon a pair, many people often ask, "Isn't it amazing, having a twin?" to which twins answer with awkward smiles and non-committal grunts, because real life #twinning has a lot less glamorous side to it than most think.

I do not have a twin, myself, but I have siblings who are. Over the years, I've watched people exclaim over their identical features and proceed to interview them. Whether they take place at a wedding or an elevator or a ladies' room, the interrogations usually go like this:

"Excuse me, are you twins?" 

"Yes, we are." 

"Oh, wow! You were, like, born on the same day?" 

"Yes…" 

"And you're in the same class at school?" 

"Yes." 

"So…you're actually twins?!" 

This kind of conversation may seem hilarious to bystanders, but apparently, it gets on twins' nerves. Things like countless mini-interviews and random photo sessions next to the frozen food section in local supermarkets seem to exasperate rather than excite. I once witnessed adults line up three pairs of twins at a social gathering before engaging in the race to capture the perfect photo. The kids were not impressed by the twenty or so phones flashing in their faces. 

This celebrity status fades away as twins get older, but it is replaced by greater challenges. In some cases, twins are treated as a unit by their peers. Very few acknowledge that they are actually two different people with varying personalities. "We start to lose our sense of individuality," said Waziha Aziz, a student of Cantonment English School and College. Her twin Wasima added, "Ultimately, we start fighting with each other and resenting each other because one of us is labeled based on the other's characteristics." 

Since they share a birthday, people expect twins to also get similar grades and have equal achievements in various fields. When they fail to do so, the comparing begins. There's never a shortage of people around us who will eagerly draw comparisons between us and our siblings, but this problem intensifies if your sibling is your twin. Twins can't use "age differences" and "growing up under different circumstances" in their defense, so things get tough. According to Farshid Saad, a student of BRAC University, the constant comparisons create a rift in the brotherly bond between him and his twin. "It also creates a sense of competition to always get to a higher place than the other," he said. While a little competition can be healthy, too much of it can lead to potential disasters. 

However, on those occasions where twins do manage to maintain standards in academics and extra-curriculars, people are quick to insinuate that they receive unfair advantages. This can turn into a major problem for twins who attend the same educational institution. Small things like getting notes from missed classes from a twin seem to bothering fellow students. Teachers sometimes make unfounded accusations of copying homework assignments from each other. Many assumptions are made, and as a result, twins have to work twice as hard to prove their worth to their peers.   

Twins share a bond that is yet to be fully explained by science. Their lives are definitely made cooler by the fact that they have double of everything and a guaranteed best friend forever. However, they face unique hardships which make their lives much less amazing than people assume. So, the next time you sigh at the sight of a pair of twins, think again. 

Also, no, when you're wearing a cardigan five shades lighter than your friend's, you are not "twinning." So please stop kidding yourselves.

Despite being a hopeless fangirl, Marisha Aziz lives under delusions of awesomeness. Contact her at [email protected] to give her another excuse to ignore her teetering pile of life problems.