Seriously, don't be the reason elevators bring people down.
"Shunte pari na bhai, ami lift e, ki bollen?" - We've all had the misfortune of sharing an elevator with this person. Either no one told them about the horrid cell phone signal in elevators, or they're rebels who aren't going to let some metal box with a smelly carpet hinder their conversation about how much money they owe to Salauddin, with someone over the phone. WELL WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
Then there's people who enter the elevator and penetrate through your layers of insecurity, walking straight inside your personal space. The elevator could be empty but this person requires some sort of human warmth and closure. Now you'll be standing there hoping to God the strong ilish mach odour from your mouth has died out.
The relationship between elevator mates must be restricted to polite smiles and minimal eye contact. Because if my floor is already here and you're still halfway through your question, I'll have to waste valuable time from my day to answer on how I feel about the weather. And probably get half slammed by the closing elevator door on the process of doing so. Thanks a lot.
IMPERSONATING CHRISTIAN GREY
Elevator love is cute in movies. However when I'm going down to meet my grandma, I don't want to be a part of some Christian Grey action going around in the elevator. Now there isn't much apart from the squiggly numbers and the Fifty Shades of Grey wall patterns to distract myself with when couples are all up in their personal spaces (and mine - since it's a congested elevator). Keep it PG-13 peeps, it's just wrong on so many levels. All the levels, in fact.
There'll always be one person stopping the elevator on a random floor to ask "Bhai niche jacchen?" Well, for your information "bhai", there's a digitalised monitor that allows you to view that information right above the elevator gates, solely to avoid this redundant bit of unnecessary conversation. Because most of the times this conversation ends with, "Accha bhai apni jan, ami upore jabo".
If you manage to get someone to loathe you in a matter of minutes while you're suspended midair on a metal box, time to make some lifestyle changes wouldn't you say? Don't be these people.