Monetary scams and romantic ones
In the Renaissance period, if a woman wanted to express interest in a man, she would drop her handkerchief. By picking up the precious item, men would imply that the feeling was mutual.
During the Victorian era, handkerchiefs were often used to convey secret messages and became a form of non-verbal communication between men and women. Drawing it across one's cheek meant "I love you." Drawing it across the lips meant that one was desiring an acquaintance. Letting it rest on the left cheek meant "no." Letting it rest on the right cheek meant "yes." And winding it around the third finger meant, "I am married."
In our present digitally mediated world, all these can be communicated via dating apps. During the online pursuit for a mate, pop-up ads asking you to buy monthly packages of Tk 1,100 to "speed-date" or "find your soulmate" may seem at first infuriating and then amusing. Answers to burning questions like "How do you know if he or she is the one?" and "what are the dangers of looking for the one?" can be found in 20-minute videos flooded all across YouTube, thanks to life coaches. Secrets of how to spot the red flags and green flags, or how to detect if he or she is lying, or how to get them addicted to you are usually revealed at the end of these videos and reels so that by the time you reach the end, you have already been fed three ads, subscription requests, and announcements of book launches, sessions, seminars, and newsletters.
Just like a present put in a box with a bow placed on top of it, romantic love is marketed. You need to get training to "reset" your love life. Yes, training. Like the one you get when you start a job or an internship. You have to be willing to pay as much as $1,000 to learn what the high-value texts are that men/women love to receive and how "cool" you should play it in the early stages of dating. You may also register for retreats with a fee of only around $3,000 to learn about why your guy or girl left in the first place and then got back one fine morning out of the blue.
While you are mulling over whether to buy the "love toolkit" or not, an SMS might intrude, offering you an instant loan with a small interest, which will add "extra happiness" to your Eid, as claimed by the bank possessing your salary account.
And amid all these, when you have totally forgotten why you had taken the phone in hand in the first place, a call might just come to inform you that the mobile financial service you use for crucial daily transactions has been locked by the BTRC. If you are wise and lucky enough to detect the undertones of a scam in the SMS, you may call up the designated call centre to be assured that your account is safe.
Another message confirming your selection for a job with a pay of Tk 2,000 per hour, that you had never applied to, might break into your bhaat ghum (the nap one takes after consuming a plate of rice for lunch), leaving you wondering if you are still dreaming.
The stressors regularly spewed out by the digital ecosystem can take a serious toll on one's health and wellbeing. It is important that we continue to make efforts to maintain a healthy lifestyle infused with mindful activities to foster a higher quality of life. Instead of being overwhelmed by a barrage of notifications, let's cultivate meaningful relationships offline. Let's prioritise self-compassion by exercising our favourite hobbies. Most importantly, let's take regular breaks from screens to reclaim our piece of mind.
Promiti Prova Chowdhury is deputy manager (outreach and capacity) at the Advocacy for Social Change programme at BRAC. She can be reached at promiti.chowdhury@gmail.com
Views expressed in this article are the author's own.
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