Published on 09:00 PM, January 14, 2024

Satire

Guy freezing in Dhaka winter aspires to pursue higher studies in Canada

Illustration: Abir Hossain

Canada, the second home of public university rejects, is an Eden for people who want to escape Bangladesh. Like hundreds of his fellow escapists, Shadman Sakib also dreams of moving to Canada for higher studies and hopes that education will somehow magically work out for him in Manitoba. Although he hasn't participated in a single household chore in his entire life as per his mother, Shadman is confident that the snowy lands of Canada will transform him into a self-sufficient man. However, apart from the heavy inflation, rent hike, and job market saturation, Shadman forgot one small detail about Canada – it's colder than his ex's best friend's glare.  

"Since my childhood, moving out of Bangladesh has been my one single dream," said Shadman. "And I've worked very hard to pursue that dream. I've messed up all my university entrance exams in Bangladesh so that my parents have no other option but to pay for my education in Canada since no Bangladeshi university will take me in. People laughed at my dream of pursuing an MSc or a PhD in Canada without showing any interest in education my entire life. I might not be interested in Software Engineering but I am very interested in getting Canadian citizenship."

But things aren't looking good this winter. Shadman sounded worried as he wrapped himself with the fourth blanket. 

"The last time someone hadn't seen the sun this long, they were preparing for their medical entrance exam. I had ordered 18 different sweatshirts and hoodies ahead of this winter, but now I can't go out in this temperature," he added. "It's the one season of the year where Bangladeshi men look somewhat presentable in their oversized hoodies and Dhaka had to take that away as well!"

"I haven't showered in 16 days," continued Shadman as the stink engulfed the air around him, "In Canada, I plan on taking a bath once every summer. But for now, I've tucked myself under four blankets and have been binge-watching wallpapers of the extreme Saharan desert. I just want to make sure that I don't forget what the sun looks like once I settle abroad. It's important not to forget one's roots."

"At least I'm not one of those people from North Bengal who won't shut up about how cold the winter is in Thakurgaon," said Shadman, "But their rants do warm me up thanks to the internal flaming rage I feel inside every time I hear them whine about us complaining about the Dhaka winter."

Hasib Ur Rashid Ifti is an undergraduate student at BUET.