Published on 12:00 AM, September 19, 2014

Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I recently gave birth to a daughter but I feel as though my in-laws are not as excited about her birth as they should be. Even when she is crying, my parents-in-law don't bother to quiet her, instead they call me or the nanny to attend to her. This is not the case with her male cousin, who is around one-and-a-half years old. His grandparents dote on him, ensuring that he gets the best of everything. They had earlier expressed their desire of a grandson when I was expecting. But I didn't know that things could get this bad. They are still very affectionate towards me but their attitude towards my daughter is killing me. My husband says that it is because our baby is too young and thus, his parents can't relate to her. My daughter is too young to understand all this, but when she grows up and if this behaviour continues, she is bound to affected by it. Am I overreacting? What do I do to make improve the situation?
Distraught Mom

Dear Distraught,
It is sad that people still suffer from prejudice against female children. This is a result of traditional norms and beliefs that males are the carrier of family name and fame. In today's day and age this is not true at all. Our girls are achieving greater accolades then ever, often surpassing boys. For the immediate you should convey to your in-laws that that their behavior has been noticed. Your husband should support you in this. For future, the most fitting response is to show them and the family what your daughter can and will be. With the right encouragement, guidance and support she will hopefully surpass the achievements of any family member, she will make you proud and then you will have the last laugh.

Dear Mita,
My ex-husband and I were friends for a long time before we started dating, and we dated for around five years before we got married. We loved each other but fought way too much, thus making it impossible for the marriage to work. Around two years after our separation, I entered into a relationship with another man and am quite happy. We are taking things slowly and I feel at peace with this guy. However, I think my ex does not like this change in my life, and has recently invited me to have coffee with him just as “friends.” I am not sure about what to do. Should I give this friendship a chance or should I not let my past interfere with my present?
Unsure

Dear Unsure,
Breaking away from a marriage that was not working was a brave thing to do. Often we cling on to relationships that have no meaning causing harm to children and other family members. Now that you have made a clean break and thinking about a new life with another person, you should not let your past distract you. I would say, concentrate on your present, build this relationship to what you want it to be, the past no longer has meaning and you should let it be. It is commendable that you parted with your husband without acrimony but just let it go and look towards the future.