What Not to Wear: Meeting Future In-laws

FOR WOMEN
Sarah Anjum Bari

Visiting your significant other's family has always been, and will forever be, one of the most nerve-wracking experiences for anyone. A generally decent and presentable appearance suffices for the men of the family you're visiting, but you will most certainly fall under the scrutiny of your man's mother, sister and all other female family members present. Needless to say, a little forethought into planning your outfit for the day is crucial.

If you're visiting the place for the first time, you'd probably do well to ask your man for some suggestions in advance. Obviously, he's going to respond with a completely useless “I don't know” but it's safer to get a feel of what they're like beforehand. If you're lucky enough to have befriended another female from his family, then you've struck gold.

In the event that you're left on your own to decide on what to wear, however, following are a few standard DON'TS.
Body Hugging Outfits: Granted, there are many families cool enough to not be judgmental about these things. But in most cases, it's the easiest way to prod awake the feared Auntyzilla living inside every Bengali woman. If you want to risk testing the future in-law waters by donning shirts and pants, or a particularly fitted kameez, you're a far braver soul than I am. If you are fearless enough to go in wearing a t-shirt or top, however, doing so without a scarf around the neck might be taking it a tad bit far.

Skin-baring Clothes: Even if you've found a relatively laid back family of future in-laws, meeting them with too much of your skin showing is akin to asking them to hate you. While no sane Bengali girl would deign to don skirts or dresses in such situations, even a harmless sleeveless Kameez is very likely to, once again, wake up the aforementioned Auntyzilla.

Pants without Belts: If you've already decided to wear pants, belts are a crucial must-have for all situations, given how our waistlines seem to love playing mind games with us when it comes to choosing the perfectly sized pants. It's particularly crucial for meetings with future in-laws, because these usually tend to involve a lot of bending over, be it to touch the feet of elders or to hand out snacks and sweets.

Funky Accessories: I love my cat's eye shades and sunflower-topped Alice bands as much as any aspiring Blair Waldorf. But for this outing, the cutesy flower clips, chunky rings and mustached earrings need to go. Unfortunately, so does the glitter-coated accent nail. Lock up the Forever 21 woman in you and you're good to go.
As complicated as the subtle wardrobe rules may seem, choosing to ignore them is likely to culminate in disasters better left for the daily lives of the ever-glittery soap opera wives. Because here's a harsh truth: they're probably waiting to mentally pick out every wardrobe faux pa you commit and discuss them at length once you leave. It's what you're going to do when your future sister/daughter-in-law eventually walks through your doors. It's a vicious cycle. Deal with it.

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FOR MEN
Arman R. Khan

Meeting your girlfriend's parents is a big step in the relationship, be it just a casual meeting or one where you ask for her hand in marriage. It implies that you are finally getting serious and ready for commitment. The first impression is crucial. So, what NOT to wear? Let's see.

The Hip-hop Gear: I'll stereotype a bit here. You might be the biggest fan of whoever is on the top of the hip-hop chart this week, and may yourself be an aspiring rapper, but while meeting your girlfriend's parents do not pull out the XXXL t-shirt and the baseball cap with baggy, sagging jeans. It may be the coolest outfit imaginable, but to her parents, you'll look like an incompetent, immature kid with no aim in life. Yes your CD will be a big hit, but this girl is breaking up with you in a week's time.

Faded or Torn Jeans: It doesn't matter whether the Bollywood Khans are appearing all over the media wearing denims that are torn in different places, including the knees and thighs. It's a no-no, bro. You are on a mission to make an impression that you are a young man capable of taking care of the “bae”. Wearing torn jeans implies you can't afford a new pair, or have particularly bad taste and are unhygienic in general. Same applies for faded ones, which FYI have not been the “in-thing” for quite a while now.

T-shirts with Inappropriate Messages or Images: That Bob Marley t-shirt with red, yellow and green leaves and the message “No Woman, No Cry” is rad. Want to find out if your girlfriend's folks like it? You might as well tell them that you'd like to marry their daughter and “go green”. Don't wear t-shirts with messages that are either disrespectful, or belittle women in any way, or make you look like you enjoy external stimulants.

No metal: Similar to the aforementioned hip-hop get-up you should not wear t-shirts of death metal bands unless you want your prospective in-laws to think you are a devil-worshipping sociopath who enjoys the agonising screams of innocents. Get a proper haircut, or at least wear your hair in a way that doesn't suggest you use more hair-care products than your girlfriend.

Sherwani and Churidar: If the meeting is on a Friday, panjabi and pyjama are customary. However, turn it up a notch and wear sherwani and churidar instead, and it's an instant turn-off. Dressing for the occasion is encouraged, but overdressing is a severe mood killer, especially if you look like someone who escaped from the wedding scene of a high budget Hindi serial.

Suits: Wait, suits rock. That having been established, you shouldn't don a suit while meeting your prospective in-laws, particularly if it's a summer day and you perspire. The idea here is to not look like you're trying too hard to make an impression. The exception would be if the meeting takes place in a really high-end restaurant and your tie isn't getting dipped in the soup.

While you are encouraged to “be yourself”, don't waste the opportunity by wearing clothes that make you unpresentable.