Ultimate Sleepover Guide <br>FOR GIRLS

Sleepovers. We see them in the movies and read about them in books and wait and wait to go to one of our own. And when we've finally convinced our parents that we will all be good little girls and stay out of trouble, it is time to get ready for a wild night of fun, laughter and -- no. None of that. Sleepovers can go nightmarishly wrong. Or not even go anywhere at all and be uber-boring. Don't believe me? Well, read on and see if the following scenario seems credible or not.

So you've got your friends over in your unusually clean room -- which will be restored to its usual untidiness within the hour, I guarantee you -- and the giggling and laughter are an ideal start to this fun night that you have planned. To mark the beginning of this event, you log in to Facebook and tag all your friends in your status consisting of heart and unicorn emoticons, proclaiming this to be “A Nyt To Rememba wid ma BestieZ!!!”

The ideal sleepover starts with a movie. Sounds simple enough, yes? Well, no. Chances are, you'll open the “Mean Girls” case and realise it has your brother's Call of Duty disc in it. When you finally do manage to sort through the dusty piles of CD cases and finally come upon the one you seek, it will have scratches all over it and not be read by your faulty DVD player. Oops.

Since that failed and your friends have already started yawning, time to move on to the next phase: photo sessions. Grab your smartphone and flaunt that front camera you've been using to take selfies every five seconds. Your friends brighten up a little at the prospect of new pictures to upload on Instagram, and you all huddle around, getting your game faces on, posing for the camera and -- SD card memory full. Please delete some data. And of course, your friends' phones are all either low on charge or broken or “Shhh, it's him, I need the phone right now.” And with that sinks the prospect of a makeover session, because honestly, what's the point of wearing makeup if you can't even take pictures on your phone to share with the rest of the world? No point at all.

Realising that this night is not going to plan, at all, you resort to the one thing which never fails -- gossip. Grab the packets of low-fat crisps and the bottles of diet coke and let the Oprah Session begin. It'll start with giggles and smiles, of course. But as the night deepens, so does your conversation. Tears will flow and dampen your spirit, revelations will be made. That guy you like? Yeah, he's dating that girl you hate, didn't you know? And that girl you used to think was so nice and sweet? Yeah, she's dating your ex.

The secrets keep getting darker and uglier and you decide that it's been enough bonding for one night, so lights out, and thankfully, you all retreat to bed. You log in to facebook one last time to see what sort of a comment storm awaits your status, already thinking up witty replies when -- no notification.

Well, sleepovers should be meant for sleeping, any way.