Learning To Speak About Men

Photos: Kazi Tahsin Agaz Apurbo

Bangladesh has a long and well-documented history of respectability (which, in Bengali, one might call bhodrolok). This pathological need to not deal with things and instead carry on with a pained exchange of pleasantries resonates well beyond the urban spaces of the middle class where one would normally expect it to reside. Instead, we 'do not touch it' quite frequently and in a very cohesive manner that speaks volumes about the history of the Bengali ethnicity (which excludes several other groups and communities that exist in this country) and its role in forming not only the most densely populated nations in the world, but also one of the most well connected and spread out diasporas in the globalised world.

Think about it- we do not touch on the topic of race, of indigenous oppression, on the topic of rape or even politics. All of that just sours what is otherwise a pleasant evening's tea. Likewise, we do not touch on the topic of masculinity; what it means to be a man in a man's world. We do not explore, out of a sense of inconvenience to ourselves and others, the varying degrees and shades of masculinity that is mostly toxic and violent, but is also sometimes oppressed and invisible. The Masculinity Project attempts to bridge this gap in public discourse by facilitating a space in which men (and people of other genders) can think critically of what it means to be a man. The project kicked off on February 27 with a display of photo-narratives at the EMK centre in Dhanmondi, Dhaka.

The project was conceived by Kazi Tahsin Agaz Apurbo, photojournalist for the Daily Star and Saad Adnan Khan, Sr. Associate Researcher, James P. Grant School, BRAC University. They have both had their own tumultuous and, at times, non-normative experience with what it means to be a man in this country. The project thus aims to portray the distinctive ways in which people who identify as men in this region think of their masculinity- from the indigenous, to the gay men, to the dis/abled, to those of us who struggle with the idea of fitting into one part of a gender binary. The exhibition, which displays these photos along with small excerpts taken from interviews, is only a small part of a larger project which includes workshops, dialogues, a photobook and an academic course on masculinity.

“Our two core themes of this project were critical thinking and self-reflexivity,” says Saad Khan, who also mentions that this project should be viewed as a gateway into a discourse rather a definitive view of what 'masculinity' is. “In some ways,” continues Saad, “this is also a study into making research work on topics such as this available to more people outside of academic circles.”

Given the long-term vision of this project, it is difficult to pass judgment on successes or failures so early. However, having viewed the exhibition itself, there are many things which the project seems to touch on and be successful about, while there also remain many other avenues where it can be improved. The question of visibility is handled better than any other broad-spectrum project that I have seen. That is, the project was not largely restricted to middle-class urban spaces and that must be applauded as a big success. The photographs are a strong point; as they are taken with a view to describe without words what the participant has said about his own experiences with masculinity. As you move down the gallery, the photographs display, sometimes in queer contradiction with the words themselves, each of the men in their personal habitat.

The narratives themselves,  however, leave much to be desired. The answers are often abstract or cursory in the kind of way that academic researchers dread. It is, however, important to note that most of the people who have shared their narratives do not think reflexively of their own masculinity, let alone share it with others.

Do we get a glimpse of the ways in which masculinity is performed in Bangladesh? Not really, but we do get a glimpse into ways in which the performers think of it, which some would argue is just an important breakthrough. The project is very successful in bringing up these questions- what do we think about when we think about masculinity, what are some of the other ways in which people who also call themselves men think about it? The project also creates tension by juxtaposing conflicting views of masculinity that the different participants have. If nothing else, I took that away as its biggest strength- the ability to mention and not demonize the many forms of masculinities that are prevalent here which would stand to largely be condemned, or worse, not spoken of, in other spaces. We've been crying out for a long time to begin a discourse on what masculinity is, and how it is affected by class, race, ability, gender/sexual orientation etc and also how it affects those that come in contact with it. We cannot speak of masculinity without speaking of the untold violence attached to it. Let us now, for the love of god(desses) start talking about it. For those interested in checking the exhibition out, it will be on display until March, 10, 2016.