When your sibling seals the deal

Marriage, the supposed unification of two souls. What doesn't quite make the "happily ever after" image is the separation between another set of souls. Somewhere between the mister stealing your sister and your brother making movie plans with the in laws, you're left alone handling the parental quarrels, ordering food all by yourself and discovering you too are now living the lone child life.  

Now, you probably haven't noticed this minuscule detail about your sibling before all the patro/patri hunt began—they're an adult now, apparently. The Fred to your George, the Bart to your Lisa, and the Loki to your Thor is no longer available for late-night dance parties or fighting over the last piece of porota. They are now "grownups" with responsibilities and families of their own raiding their lives. You're just sitting at home wondering why the ghotok didn't bother to bring up these significant alterations while proposing the entire marriage fiasco. 

Ever since your sibling took up the whole adult-ing debacle and paraded off with their significant other, things got pretty lackluster. Even if you do have another sibling to keep you occupied, the void of the elder sibling hangs painfully in the air. If the wedded sibling is your only one, the house gets dreadfully quiet. Almost as if your partner-in-crime shipped away all the excitement and energy along with her wardrobe to her shoshur bari. 

The "what's yours is mine" law doesn't work too well when there's a third party in the picture. You can't march in and claim your brother's laptop anytime, because now his beloved has entitlement over it too. You'll be barging into your sister's wardrobe in pursuit of clothes, but end up coiled up in a corner sniffing her ugly old sweater from the left over pile in reminiscence. One of those days you'll stare at your organized penholder and wonder how it's possible that you truly miss your pencil stealing sibling. 

You wouldn't understand how your sibling's marriage can affect you so so much unless you realise that you are now held accountable for not only yours, but all the household responsibilities said sibling once had. You can't rely on putting your name last minute on your sibling's anniversary gift to your parents. The moshari is now yours to arrange regardless of Mondays or Tuesdays. While your sibling starts their new shukher shongshar, you're stuck weaving back the holes they left on your old one. 

Betrayal comes in all forms. One of these days you'll call your brother hoping to manage stadium tickets to go to, only to find out he's already going with his brother-in-law. The day fate brings forth you, your sister merrily shopping away with her in laws, you'll feel your blood boiling.   

However, your sibling marrying off does have perks. You now get to laugh at their attempts at being grownups while living the unpledged life. The bigger room is now your domain without having to put up a cat fight. With them out of the way, your parents finally realise they have another child and focuses more attention on you. Alterations can be favorable too. 

But no matter how much things change, nothing can change the blood, bond and cat-fight scars you share with your sibling. Think of it this way, you're not losing a sibling, you're gaining another. 

Samin Sabah Islam is on a quest to find the perfect diet while simultaneously drooling over pizza. Throw her some tips at sabahsamin11@gmail.com