Published on 12:00 AM, August 27, 2015

When You Don't Approve of Your Parent's Profession

Your parents, uncles, aunts and every other family member will want to make sure you choose a profession approved by them. Do your parents ever think about how you might not approve of their professions? Let's face it, being the child of people in certain professions makes it really difficult for us. 

Being Bengali, we have always known that we will never be considered successful unless we became doctors or engineers. Bonus point for guys: if you don't become a doctor or engineer, no respectable girl will marry you. Don't remind your dad that he got to marry your mom despite not being one. You'll get labelled as “beyadob” and kicked out of your house. 

Doctors: Everyone thinks you must have learned medicine while in the womb and you were born with an MBBS degree. Your classmates will expect you to know the remedy to everything. You won't get away with providing the ultimate solution, “Paani khao”. They want you to prescribe medication because you are qualified. Obviously. Your teachers assume that you will be a med student in the future. The amount of zeros on your exam script will only make them angrier, and they will say things like “You parents are both doctors, why are you laying eggs like a chicken?” 

Lawyers: Lawyers are the cleverest kind of parents. They won't force anything on you. Instead, they'll flatten you with all kinds of logic. They say things with so much confidence and authority, not to mention all the “evidence” they have to back their claims, you forget that you could question whether they even make sense. 

Psychologists: You can never have a secret. One look and BOOM. “I understand that Sokhina stole your pizza, but you deserve so much better than that piece. Forget it and study. It'll take your mind off things.”

I don't want to take my mind off things, I want to mourn my pizza. Then plan my revenge. 

“Revenge is not the answer, ma, it'll only make you feel worse. You should go study.” Stop reading my mind Ammu, I have a right to privacy! 

Teachers: Kids whose parents teach at the same institution they study at have it really bad. You will be marked harder, judged harder, and if you happen to do well, some people will never acknowledge your talent and blame favouritism. Your classmates will have a hard time trusting you. Deviate slightly from the embodiment of perfection that you are expected to be, and you get sent straight to hell. Your teachers also know every minuscule detail about your life and they talk to you about the most random things in front of your friends. “I went to your parents' wedding. You weren't there.” 

Celebrity: It's not a profession, it's a condition. You can never have a normal family outing. People will swarm your parent with no regard for the rest of your family. Hello, leftover. God forbid if you happen to have the same “talent” or “profession”, you will always, always be compared to them. God forbid that you don't follow into their steps, people will always, always talk about how you broke their hearts.

Drug Lord: You don't want to be the kid of the guy who got caught bringing in Bolivian drug cartels through the port, however much Hollywood-esque that sounds. End of discussion. 

If you're a worried parent belonging to one of the above mentioned categories: as long as you treat your kid as an individual, you're doing a great job. We forgive you. Unless you're a drug lord.  

Moneesha R Kalamder is a former Hogwarts student and celebrity quidditch player. She is looking to live a quiet life in the muggle world but struggling to find her place. You can talk to her about magic and other things at facebook.com/moneesha.rk