THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE

ARIES
Oh my dear Aries, you should eat more berries. 

TAURUS
It would be better if you performed a chorus. 

GEMINI
Start practising making beguni.

CENCER
You are a disco dancer; smoking causes cancer.

LEO
It'll be hilarious if a Leo comes from Rio. 

VIRGO
Have you watched Fargo yet?

LIBRA
Try riding a zebra.

SCORPIO
And the scorpio goes to Leo.

SAGITTARIUS
Never run after a No. 7 bus.

CAPRICON
Popcorn is harmful for you.

AQUARIUS
At least say "Arigatou gozaimasu."

PISCES
Never let others break your heart into pieces.