Published on 12:00 AM, March 30, 2017

Surviving as a Normie 101

Have you been called a "hecking normie" for being a hecking normie? Or are you counting down the days till the inevitable doom of your social value because you know you are a hecking normie? Or do you not even know what a normie is (which makes you a hecking normie)? Worry not. Read on to know how to redeem/defend yourself against the ever aggressive goliaths that are the culturally informed.

Now before we dive into the survival guide, we need to understand what a "normie" is. The term was primarily an internet slang which, like any other internet fad in the 21st century, later broke the confines of the virtual world and is now used to address anyone perceived as culturally illiterate or mainstream. To put it simply (so that the hecking normies reading this can understand), if someone has less knowledge on a certain topic than another person then the second person can call the first person a hecking normie. A similar situation can arise when one person likes a trend that another may not.

So now that you know if you deserve to be called a hecking normie, let's see how we can stop that from happening.

The first (and actually the only sincere) method is to know. Search the internet as soon as you're confronted with something new, something trending, and something you have no idea about. Don't make the mistake of asking someone informed about it. That's usually the backstory of everyone who's ever been called a normie. Google is your best friend, at least until they develop an A.I. that calls you names based on your search. 

You also need to observe other people to understand what's mainstream. The challenge is to choose the people to observe wisely. Being acquainted with people who are more in sync with the trends is the way to go. If that forces you to lose past relations then so be it. As a wise man once said and I quote, "If you see your friend circle listen to Linkin Park songs in 2017, then it's high time to change your circle."

The second method is to distract. I'm taking a leap of faith here and guessing that there is at least one thing you're good at. Utilize that. Divert a conversation where you're struggling to contribute to something you're adept in, regardless of relevance. Not really up to date on foreign politics? But you're a number 1 Harry Potter fan? Talk about the 9 reasons why Trump is actually Voldemort (number 6 will stupefy you). As a bonus you can counter attack and call them hecking normies for not knowing some random HP trivia. 

The third method is to avoid. They won't know if you lack knowledge in a subject if you don't engage yourself in it in any way. You find a meme funny but don't know if its internet validity period has passed? Why risk being judged for a meme? You don't need to share it. You don't need to share anything. Nobody needs to know about you. Scroll through your favourite memes in a cave, but laugh quietly so that no one gets triggered by your choice of humour.

The fourth and last method is acceptance. So what if you're called a hecking normie? You don't need to get all worked up over it. Pursue what you enjoy and don't hate on or get demotivated by someone with different preferences.

Fatiul Huq Sujoy is a tired soul (mostly because of his frail body) who's patiently waiting for Hagrid to appear and tell him, "Ye're a saiyan, lord commander." Suggest him places to travel and food-ventures to take at fb.com/SyedSujoy.