Published on 12:00 AM, February 25, 2016

Tech

Internet Usage Guidelines

Hi, you must be new here. Welcome to the vast world that is known as the internet! Opportunities are quite literally boundless on what you can do here. Please follow our guidelines on a safe and enjoyable experience on the internet.

Associate yourself with offline and online internet lingo
Before getting an internet connection, teach yourself on how you get internet, or what the difference is between a router and a modem. You'll definitely be the talk of the crowd if you can tell anyone what an ISP is; you'll never come across anyone as obnoxious. In fact, make it part of your life to inform everyone on broadbands. You'll risk being the know-it-all and you'll be the guy who everyone goes to if their electronic devices breaks down.

Also, you'll find that regular dictionary rules usually don't apply to places on the internet. Be sure to buy a help book on this.

Catch on what's hip and trendy
Once you get the internet, the first thing you must always do is sign up on any social media. This will ensure your status in real life. Seems gimmicky, but it works, trust me. If you are cool on the keyboard, you are instantly accepted in real life. Start threatening your old bullies from elementary school by photoshopping their faces onto various animals or on inanimate objects. It can be accompanied by an inspiring quote, like "Your life is a canvas, hold your brush carefully."

Explore some more of what it has to offer
The internet is not just learning new words or talking to friends; there's so much more! Watching videos, searching up funny pictures, reading the news, browser based games—is there any boundary to what the internet has to offer? Turns out you can even shop online! All this is just the tip of the iceberg, my dear user. 

Be aware of its dark underbelly
The internet is very similar to real life, which is why there are several things that are illegal and often frowned on. But don't let that stop you! Pfft... There is no such thing as the internet police! You can do everything you want in the world wide web. Your actions won't come with any other consequence other than your bill! Every day on the internet is like the movie Purge. 

While every good thing has its drawbacks, you need not fear in case of the internet. Everything and everybody is your friend. If you feel uncomfortable, all you need to do is disconnect yourself and you'll be fine. It's not like the internet has real life consequences or anything! Enjoy the internet, fellow user!

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