Reprogramming Your Friends to Like the Same Music You Do
Getting your friend to like the same song that you've been obsessing over for the last week isn't easy. So, in this article, we shall look at the 5 stages of your attempt to brainwash your friend, including what you've been doing wrong and suggest improvements and tweaks to your battle strategy.
Stage 1: Denial
The initial frustration and bewilderment as to why he/she won't like the genre that opened your soul to the joys of the world is understandable. But the sooner you snap out of it, the better. Wipe that confused look off your face and acknowledge the long road ahead of you.
Stage 2: Anger
Getting someone to like something they inherently don't is a herculean task and underestimating it would mean shooting yourself in the foot. You have several minor strokes ahead of you so brace yourself.
Despite what your inner control-freak says, your friend is their own individual with a mind of their own so they might not (initially) share your sentiments. Try easing them into it. Before showing them what you like, find out what gets their head bobbing. If, for example, he/she/it likes K-pop and you want to introduce them to the wonderful world of black metal, try suggesting songs that are similar to their genre, maybe start with glam rock or classic rock and work your way down the rabbit hole. Show them hard rock band members can be attractive too (and to that effect I suggest that you stay away from Alice Cooper and Marilyn Manson for the time being).
Stage 3: Depression
Before you descend into the pit of depression and drag your friend along with your incessant badgering, acclimatise yourself to the fact that this will largely be a hit-and-miss affair. You will find him/her/it more responsive to certain songs of the genre while repulsed by others. Notice the pattern and feed them the ones they are more likely to approve of. After you've helped establish a solid interest, they should be more receptive to the songs you really want them to hear and love.
Stage 4: Bargaining
At this point you are flabbergasted as to why your attempts are bouncing off the wall of narrow-minded ignorance that is your friend. Instead of offering to do their homework in exchange for co-operation, agree to give their genre a try. Just like how you're trying to force-feed your taste in music down their throat, they may be attempting the same, so it's only fair to reciprocate.
Also, you want your friend to have an open mind so they are more susceptible to the musical and lyrical genius that is [insert favourite artist here], and relentless bickering won't help. Work out some kind of deal, like suggesting one song per day that your friend is obligated to listen to. That way there will be some semblance of order to this otherwise sordid affair.
Stage 5: Acceptance
By now you have probably found that nothing works and you should've resorted to blackmail from the beginning. I know sharing tastes in music can give you a lot to talk about. I know you're bursting to rant about your fan fiction about an alternate reality where the BB.Boys or Stereopony didn't break up (God Help You) or have someone to go halfsies with on Guns N' Roses memorabilia, but it's important to know when to throw in the towel and go sob in the corner.
Some people just won't like bluegrass or technical death metal, regardless of your negotiation skills and/or threats. But for those especially motivated, I hear voodoo or hypnosis is a popular choice these days.