Nonte-Fonte and Harry Potter

When I was your age (which I am assuming is seven purely because I was seven at the time of this story and I'm trying to salvage my intro) my parents would threaten to send me to 'boarding' whenever I misbehaved. I did not at the time know what 'boarding' meant. 

Eventually I discovered the vast seam of boarding school literature, starting with Nonte-Fonte, which gave me to understand that boarding was much like any other school but with more slapstick violence and a social life built around roshogollas. Reasonably attractive. To this 

I later added the works of Enid Blyton which told me boarding school was very sporty (unattractive) and British (ditto). And then I read Harry Potter which has probably done more for the boarding school industry than anything in decades, despite the high mortality rate at Hogwarts. 

The boarding school life described in our cover story disappointingly does not involve roshogollahs or murders (that we know of) but it does have sports. Ugh. Sports.

– Zoheb Mashiur, Sub-editor, SHOUT