Guide to socialising in a new environment
You've just moved to a new city for your university. You didn't come here just to study; you want to get a holistic student experience. This means talking and getting to know people, to establish a stable friend circle. You are somewhat socially adept. However, it's still hard for you to initiate conversations and then go beyond the phase of small talks. Or you just don't know how to make a conversation engaging enough.
If the paragraph above resonated even a little bit with you, then I hope you find this article useful. I'm going to share three tips I've tried and found out to be exceptionally helpful in socialising during my years abroad.
Master the smile
Almost any video I've seen on improving social skills emphasises smiling. However, it's never specified WHEN to smile. I believe the correct time would be at least five seconds after you see them, not smiling right away. From their perspective, they're seeing a stranger study their face and then smiling. They think the smile is specifically for them and you're genuinely excited for interaction. They think the smile is more personal and that you're not smiling just for the sake of it.
Unconventional questions
If you want to leave a good impression on someone, you have to ask people questions they normally don't get asked. This forces them to rack their brain because they've never really thought of discussing said questions with anyone before. Any Wiki-How article will advise discussing your hobbies and interests, but that can become monotonous at one point. Remember: everyone's meeting new people every day, so chances are they've already talked about how much they love cycling at least a billion times. Hence, try the alternative of the most common questions you can think of. Instead of asking what they're passionate about, try asking what's something they're terrible at. Instead of discussing each other's favourite movies, try discussing what's the most disappointing movie they have ever seen. The more they think, the more refreshing the experience is for them, and the more likely you'll stand out to them.
Find an excuse to see them again
One of the most frustrating things about socialising is when you have to end a great conversation and would love to see them again, but you hesitate in reaching out to them. You don't know if the person enjoyed talking to you as much as you did to them. To avoid that, it helps to build a reason in the initial conversation and approach them afterwards. For example, you can ask them to recommend you a YouTuber they think is underrated. Next step's simple: you reach out to them through social media and update on how you felt about their suggestion. Then you can repeat the second tip to get into another interesting conversation. However, this time it's probably easier because you already have a rough idea of them.
Bear in mind that these tips shouldn't be viewed as gospel. Each individual you meet is unique, so it is best to see the tips as a guide more than anything. Just don't sue me, thanks.
Eesaa wishes he knew what direction his life is going. Send your condolences at eesaakazi@gmail.com