Published on 12:00 AM, September 19, 2019

Dealing with stayover guests

I know. We have all been there when the news of the imminent arrival of a guest leaves us with a saddened face and a heavy heart. We have all had our fair share of bitter experiences of adjusting to life when there’s a guest staying over. For some unspoken reason, the younger ones end up compromising a great deal for a person whom we haven’t ever met before. And it all begins when you have to admit to recognising this total stranger, while your mind is racing at the speed of lightning, wondering in bewilderment how they could possbily be related to you. Nonetheless, you can, and you will, have to face these situations when guests decide to stay over at your house. So brace yourselves. IT’S COMING.

Compromising your personal possessions

If you are looking at your pillow as you read through that headline, you know where I am going with this. A guest comes over and before you know it, they start hitting you where it hurts. The one true companion that has served you night after night with loyalty and lifelong obedience is the first of many sacrifices. It’s like losing a friend. Without that pillow, sleep is hard to come by, as you miss the warmth of its cuddles. You just lay on your bed in utter dismay thinking what your late night confidante must be going through. But atleast you have your mattress, for the time being.

Sacrificing your mattress

Oh if this isn’t a prime example of the ultimate sacrifice, I don’t know what is. Because it’s not just the mattress that you are sacrificing, you are sacrificing your lair. To put it into persepctive, in case you haven’t already got it, imagine you are the Simba in this story who’s been banished from homeland by Scar. And before you know it, you will find yourself deported all the way to Couch Country. Only late night UCL matchdays can save you from rotting in this wasteland now. Thank God for football!

Invasion of privacy

The stay-over guest will just pop up into your bedroom out of absolutely nowhere, just to remind you that they still exist. They will start asking you questions that your parents quit asking ever since you passed high school. They will investigate the entire room, starting from the posters on your wall all the way to the books lying on your study table that you didn’t even know existed. After successfully having figured out that you are an uncultured human being, they will leave the room, with a hint of dissatifaction on their face.

Making routine adjustments

Just in case you wake up in the morning and don’t exactly remember that there’s a guest staying over at your house, it won’t take long to get a memory refresh. Just walk towards the washroom and reality will hit you in the face as you find the door locked. And just like that, the guest has taken way the shred of your personal life as you stand still right there, going through an existential crisis. Keep thinking, the door’s going to stay locked for a while.

 

MD. Zamilur Rahman is a self-proclaimed foodie and comic geek. He hates pineapple on pizza and white chocolate. Change his mind at shuvosanctum@gmail.com