Caught in the middle of a lovers' quarrel
When Will screamed at Mike and said "I have been a total third wheel all day, it's been miserable," in Stranger Things, I bet everyone who has been the third wheel at some point was able to relate. To see two of your friends in a relationship usually makes us happy.
However, sometimes when there is an issue between them, the usual third-wheeling can take an even more awkward turn. After all, what are you supposed to do?
About a year ago, I had to deal with this situation where two of my friends were struggling to communicate freely in their relationship, causing continued misunderstandings and an overall sense of resentment. When asked, all I could tell them was to have an honest conversation with each other.
What I have learnt from my experience is that your friends will often not listen to you, even if they were the ones asking for your advice in the first place. Since this is an emotionally tumultuous time for them, they might not want to listen to any logic or reason. Thus, it is safest to lend an ear and keep your opinions to yourself.
In such situations, it is important to remember it is not your responsibility to fix things for them, the most you can do is offer a trusted ear and a shoulder to cry on. You may feel like you have to take sides if things get worse, but that only leads to further misunderstandings and blame games. Before you know it, you are now a part of this fight.
In any case if the situation ultimately calls for you to become the mediator, make sure you only do it if they have asked you to do so. Again, this is truly not your responsibility, and what you are doing is out of the goodness of your heart. Try to limit your contribution to making them see each other's points of view, and introducing the concept of reason, at best. If they truly want to proceed with fixing things, they will put in the effort required.
Don't try to be the hero here, it is not going to make things better but rather take a turn in the opposite direction and go downhill. For all parties involved.
You want the best for your friends, but if the worst happens and the relationship ends, try to keep away and allow space for both perspectives. Give them some time to heal from the aftermath.
At the end of the day, you want your friends to be genuinely happy, no matter the state of their involvement. Remember to prioritise your own mental health and wellbeing too.
Angelina Nodee Francis enjoys cracking self-deprecating jokes and running away from her problems. Send her memes at angelinafrancis004@gmail.com