After-effects of applying Henna

With Eid approaching us in about a month, among the many things occupying in our mind, henna is definitely up there. Soon, social media will be blessed with photos of colourful hands captioned “#DoNEwIthHeNNA”. There will be compliments all over. But why do we never speak of the things that follow the application of henna? Here’s a summary of the horrible after-hours.

Half an hour later: You start to realise that you have a back pain from sitting straight for hours to get your henna done. So you go to lie down on the bed for a while. But can you? You don’t trust yourself enough to not ruin the winsome henna design. But most importantly, you are too afraid to face the rage of your mom in case you smear henna on the bed sheet. So you decide to sit the next few hours out and get a brand new back pain. Awesome.

1.5 hours later: After adjusting yourself to the “Sit straight and don’t move as if you’re in a mannequin challenge” situation, you begin to think of all the things you could do if you didn’t have the freight all over your palms and the back of your hands. That’s right, henna equals a burden now. You regret your decision and tell yourself that you are never getting into this mess again just like you did for the past however many Eids you were alive for.

2 hours later: Everyone is laughing at your inability to eat, drink or do anything on your own. You can feel the rage growing inside you. Despite trying to keep it together for hours, you finally lose it. You are now a believer of the Thanos school of thought. Because snapping people to disappearance is the only choice now. But if there’s nobody left, who’s going to help you with things until you can get rid of the henna?

2.5 hours later: You must have grown immune to everything by now. The back pain, the jokes thrown at you, the inability to use your phone, and the good old “Ew, your mehedi smells” from little kids – these are nothing but noise on deaf ears. You look into the mirror and wonder how you should pose for a photo showing your hands off when all this is over. Just when you are about to pose for the 40th time, you realise that some broken pieces of the dried up henna have invaded the floor. Yeah, this is what makes you stop (over)acting like Poo from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum.

3.5 hours later: The moment you have been waiting for has finally arrived. It felt like a million years. You are getting rid of the henna as gently as possible because it really hurts if the henna is attached with the hair follicles on the back of your hands. Exactly when you tell yourself that it’s over, some henna expert female relative of yours appears out of nowhere to scare you to death by their negativity. “It’s only been a few hours. Keep it for at least 10 more hours for gorgeous reddish color. I used to wait for 78 hours straight and get the darkest mehedi colour in the tri-state area.” Yeah, you are dumb enough to believe her and wait in hell for 3 more hours.

Alright. I’m going to stop now and prepare myself to have the aforementioned experience. Eid without henna, you say? Come on! Get a life.

The writer is a Computer Programming and Analysis major at Seneca College.