Surviving Unpopular Opinions on Social Media

It's 3.40 AM in the morning and every man, woman and child is sound asleep. Therefore I think it's safe to declare that I utterly detest football? I get that it's a terrible mistake to start this feature on such a low note. You might be thinking that I'm getting ready with bag and baggage to leave my humble abode to live as a gypsy because after this public declaration there's no way my peers will let me live in peace (or live at all for that matter because what kind of an illiterate imbecile doesn't like football?) Well, you are wrong. Following are the steps I use to survive with unpopular opinions like this without being ostracized. 

(Exclusion clause: don't take my advice too seriously).  

1.     (Obviously) don't say it too often
Opinions are like noses, everyone is entitled to have one. This metaphor, however strange may be, is true. Sometimes we try to stop others from using their noses and it becomes a nasty mess. So control your own breathing system and make an educated choice to refrain from saying out your unpopular opinion more than when it's absolutely obligatory. If you just keep your undying love for Nickelback to yourself than updating a status about it, your life would be gazillion times better.

2.     Don't be rude while revealing your (unpopular) opinion
You are the minority here and what better year than 2015 to know that minorities should be extra careful with their opinions? Since you love Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes over Benedict Cumberbatch's , I am going to assume that the statistical probability of having people to back you up is next to none. On top of that, if you are rude while saying this, then may the keyboard God have mercy on your soul. 

3.     USE CAPS LOCK
Some days you are the person who thinks FRIENDS is the best TV show ever to have been created and other days you are the social outcast who thinks comic sans MS is cute. Blurting out your opinion in real life social gatherings is actually not that threatening. Fighting face to face is hard and exhausting so people hardly ever do that but FIGHTING ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS EASY. ALL YOU NEED IS TO PRESS CAPS LOCK AND CONTINUE SAYING WHATEVER  YOU WERE SAYING EARLIER, and YOU STILL WOULD HAVE MADE A STRONG POINT. I suggest you make use of this socially acceptable means of making your point.

4.     Take a deep breath and log out of Facebook
HOW DARE YOU HATE GAME OF THRONES? WHAT DO YOU MEAN FROZEN IS NOT THE BEST DISNEY MOVIE EVER? Phew! The keyboard warriors know better and you can't run and hide once the word escapes that you liked the fourth season of Arrow. Prevention is better than cure. You've made the dangerous choice of liking Anne Hathaway and there's only one way this will end peacefully and that's by you keeping shut about it.

5.     Don't hate on Harry Potter 
Do I even need to explain this?
As long as the human race survives there will be no end to unpopular opinions. Do you think Halloween is wrong, stupid and created by the media? Let everyone know through a fiery status update, cross your fingers and hope for the best. My advice may even come to some miraculous use in saving you as long as your opinions do not constitute one admiring Kim Kardashian and Fam because that's just taking it too far and you're on your own.  

Anupoma Joyeeta Joyee is a perpetually sleepy Law student who emotionally identifies with ducks and occasionally sets out on writing sprees. Find more of her needless banter on https://www.facebook.com/joyee.anupoma