Struggles of Looking Younger Than You Really Are
People assume the two digit number on your birthday cake is a mistake and sometimes you really wonder if you were adopted and your parents messed up your age. Whether it's just the baby face, lack of facial hair, or your height, looking younger than you really are isn't just something "you'll be thankful for when you're much older."
Pseudo Parents Everywhere
You're either casually reading a book (any romance novel or that wretched story that has nothing to do with the colour grey) or excitedly talking about the latest Game of Thrones episode in public. The looks random people give you are tolerable but then someone you barely know asks you the six words you're tired of hearing – "Are you old enough for this?" This is probably followed by a "Bashaye jane?" When you're out with someone of the opposite gender and of your (actual) age, judge-y looks are followed by some more "Bashaye jane?"
Public Transport Woes
Every time you get on a CNG or bus the mama stops for a bit and you know exactly what he's thinking – Is this kid old enough to be travelling alone? Are they running away from home or something? A rickshaw once dropped me off right beside the building I wanted to go to and while I was paying the fare the mama asked, "Chinben toh?" and he pointed towards the building. He looked genuinely concerned. You eventually learn to drown out the "Or ma baba koi?" and "Ekhane eka ki korche?" with Taylor Swift's "Fifteen" tauntingly blasting from your headphones.
Memes and Jokes Deprivation
I've been hanging out with a group of people since I was 15. More than 3 years later, they still think I'm 15 and that means I'm deprived of all the lit memes they share with each other. They also often stop midway when telling a joke and look at me, expecting me to cover my ears or leave the room. Apparently I'm not old enough for the gossip either.
Kids, Please
Juniors come up to you addressing you without an apu or bhaiya and while that may not offend you in the slightest, it certainly does when one of them hits on you.
Please Age Me
You've gone to great lengths to make yourself look your age. For your friends, makeup may be a way to express themselves, but for you the winged eyeliner is meant to add two years while the contouring adds another. You need the slightest excuse to wear a saree and high heels and when you do, people probably can't recognise you. I'm often mistaken for a teacher at school when I wear sarees during special occasions. And for the men who are unfairly mistaken for boys – the beard is your best friend, bro. Or maybe try suiting up like Barney Stinson 24/7.
In the end, you either just laugh it off or give up and have your age tattooed right across your forehead. Oh wait, are you even old enough to get a tattoo?
Salma Mohammad Ali fears she is becoming a crazy cat lady and uses writing as a means to grasp on to sanity. Send her your views/hate/love at fb.com/salma.ali209