Struggles of being a quiet person
While being a quiet person is appreciated, it does not always invite good things. Here are some struggles you can relate to only if you're more of an observer than a speaker.
THE BURNING DESIRE TO BECOME TALKATIVE
Whenever we are around any talkative person, we intend to be like them someday. Their confidence leaves us open-mouthed. Watching them talk like the room is theirs, this certain feeling to become confident keeps growing within us. Even if we do ask for advice and work on it, we fail to become confident and cave in to our stage fright.
BEING THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION
You might think no one notices you when you are quiet. But the reality is something else. You're not a lithe cat just observing everyone. People actually have their eyes on you. If you are asked a question every eye turns to you and you can almost feel it. The fact that you are being noticed is pretty scary and at times hard to deal with. It is as though everyone's anxiously waiting for your answer and you have to be very careful with it. Talk stupid and you're up for a permanent bad impression.
THANKS FOR ASKING BUT I AM OKAY
Imagine having a group conversation in real life and you're just there, not talking, smiling at intervals. Under circumstances like these, we are likely to be asked whether or not we are alright. Though we might look like we are dying from the inside and hiding the agony with a fake smile, we actually just like to be there without doing any talking, just observing whatever others do. I have been asked too often whether I was doing okay whenever I was quiet in group hangouts, and I had to assure everyone I was actually okay and I liked to be quiet.
REPEATING YOURSELF
Talking is tough when you are a quiet person. And repeating yourself is even tougher. We find it extremely difficult to repeat our words because it takes a lot of strength to gather the same words and speak out again. Hence, we don't get the time to rehearse when we are asked to repeat ourselves and end up stumbling across our own words.
SHOCKING EVERYONE
It sucks to be that one person who says something once in a while generating a hilarious reaction from the crowd. We are sometimes caught up in acts where we speak and people are surprised at the fact that we spoke because we were not supposed to. It's as though they're hearing the quiet person speak for the first time and are shocked listening to their voice.
GOING WITH THE FLOW
This circumstance is very common. There were times when everyone was laughing and I had to do the same to be acceptable in spite of not getting the joke. But at one point, I was caught off guard and had to explain the joke to which everyone was laughing. Of course, I was as empty as Dhaka roads during Eid holidays then.
THOUGHTS LEFT UNSAID
There are many things we wish to say but throw them away because of not being mentally rehearsed enough, fear of not being heard, and thinking too much about peoples' reactions. So, they end up in the bin, left unsaid. This way, we ignore many things we have to say and they never reach the person they're supposed to. In the process, our attempts to socialise go in vain.
REACTING TO YOUR NAME BEING CALLED
Our faces turn away from our mobile phones whenever someone calls out our name. We get nervous thinking what if we are asked something and can't reply loudly and have to repeat ourselves?
WE ARE NOT MADE FOR SMALL TALK
I have often tried striking up conversations with those around me but I've always failed horribly. Either I never asked anything, just stared at my mobile phone and scrolled aimlessly. Or I sometimes asked a question or two but they were so unusually awkward that the conversation breathed just a little and died. There were times when I mentally rehearsed starting a conversation and keeping it going too, but the person just left because time won't stand still for me. Most of the time, it's just me thinking whether I should talk or not and creating up smooth conversation scenarios in my head only when the prospect's no more alive.
Shah Tazrian Ashrafi wants his life to be like stormtroopers: always missing easy kill shots. Send him prayers at tazrian1234@gmail.com